Reply to S/O How do you justify having an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous]I actually have a running list of things my DH has said that shed light into his little self justifications. He's working on this in therapy because he will say til he's blue in the face that it was wrong, there's no justification for his actions, he has not blame shifted at all, but then these little tidbits sneak out and I know these are things he was telling himself to be able to live with himself:

-I never intended to hurt you.

-I never thought OW was better than you in any way

-I never talked to her about our marriage or family

-Everything I said to her was a lie. I didn't mean any of it- it was like a pretend escape world.

-95% of the lying I did to you was lies of omission. 99% of the lies I said to her were lies of commission. I tried to never deliberately lie to you and didn't care or feel guilty at all about lying to her.

-I never once considered a future with her. We would make a horrible couple in the real world

-Every choice I made with you about our family during the affair was real and intentional. I never stopped loving you or wanting to continue building our marriage and family.[/quote]

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