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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Another challenge in the stats is that most women over 40 are not trying to get pregnant.[/b] So fertility is even harder to gauge.

I have a 60-something colleague who was born when her mom was 50. It happens. [/quote]

I think the reverse is also true; there are increasingly fewer early twenties women actively trying to get pregnant and birth control is pretty reliable, so it's unclear if their issues at 35 are due to age alone or they would have struggled as well when younger.

I know a lot of 30-something professionals who were great with birth control until they were 35+, assuming it was all like Brunch Granny said, they'd struggle, need IVF, etc. who were horrified (in a good way, but still shocked to their cores...) it took like a month or two. A lot of the data available is very dated. [/quote]

This was me! I had been told explicitly by a reproductive specialist when I was 32 that I had signs of already-declining fertility and that if I wanted kids, I should either try to have them soon or freeze my eggs. It was really upsetting because I'd recently lost my job and the cost of egg extraction and freezing was overwhelming to me in that moment, and I felt like I was being told I'd never have kids.

I got pregnant in one period cycle at 36 and spent the entire pregnancy in a daze because I'd spent the previous 4 years coming to terms with the fact that I would probably never have kids, or that I'd sentenced myself to years of difficult fertility treatments. Had a healthy baby at 37. My pregnancy was kind of terrible, actually, but not due to fertility issues. Turns out my body produces a lot of excess pregnancy hormones, which meant I had HG and awful migraines throughout my pregnancy. [b]I'm too fertile, lol.[/b]

I now understand that doctor was probably just pushing me to do an expensive and invasive procedure because that's how he makes money. I only went to him because after an abnormal pap (HPV and cancer tests came back clear), my doc recommended do a reproductive "pre-screening" since I had said I wanted kids but planned to wait a couple more years (I wasn't even married yet at the time). The whole thing wound up being a stressful fiasco that made me worry it was already too late for me to have a family. It was ridiculous.[/quote]

That is not what that means. I hear this a lot from women - older and younger - as a weird sort of humble brag. Women believe that they are better than if they are more fertile. I have a friend who had twins at an AMA. She tells everyone that she is TOO FERTILE. Oh my god! Who knew that she could have SO MANY babies? It's a weird flex because that's not what having twins at 39 means.

This entire thread is chockablock full of subtext where women base their inherent value on their perceived fertility levels. I'm not shocked by it but I'm surprised that it is not apparent to us all. [/quote]

It was a joke, thus "lol"

Also, when working on your reading comprehension, consider context. This statement was about how my body produced an excess of the pregnancy hormones that cause morning sickness and thus I was violently ill through my pregnancy. Every time I went to the doctor because I couldn't keep food down (couldn't even keep my prenatal vitamins down), the doctors and nurses would say "it's good! it means your body is very excited about the pregnancy!" It was a joke about how I thought I couldn't get pregnant at all and instead I had some kind of Uber-pregnancy where my body was like woo-hoo we're pregnant let's have a nausea party!

I'm sorry you are incapable of understanding anything that doesn't directly support your narrow world view. That must be really hard.[/quote]

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