Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another challenge in the stats is that most women over 40 are not trying to get pregnant. So fertility is even harder to gauge.

I have a 60-something colleague who was born when her mom was 50. It happens.

I think the reverse is also true; there are increasingly fewer early twenties women actively trying to get pregnant and birth control is pretty reliable, so it's unclear if their issues at 35 are due to age alone or they would have struggled as well when younger.

I know a lot of 30-something professionals who were great with birth control until they were 35+, assuming it was all like Brunch Granny said, they'd struggle, need IVF, etc. who were horrified (in a good way, but still shocked to their cores...) it took like a month or two. A lot of the data available is very dated.

This was me! I had been told explicitly by a reproductive specialist when I was 32 that I had signs of already-declining fertility and that if I wanted kids, I should either try to have them soon or freeze my eggs. It was really upsetting because I'd recently lost my job and the cost of egg extraction and freezing was overwhelming to me in that moment, and I felt like I was being told I'd never have kids.

I got pregnant in one period cycle at 36 and spent the entire pregnancy in a daze because I'd spent the previous 4 years coming to terms with the fact that I would probably never have kids, or that I'd sentenced myself to years of difficult fertility treatments. Had a healthy baby at 37. My pregnancy was kind of terrible, actually, but not due to fertility issues. Turns out my body produces a lot of excess pregnancy hormones, which meant I had HG and awful migraines throughout my pregnancy. I'm too fertile, lol.

I now understand that doctor was probably just pushing me to do an expensive and invasive procedure because that's how he makes money. I only went to him because after an abnormal pap (HPV and cancer tests came back clear), my doc recommended do a reproductive "pre-screening" since I had said I wanted kids but planned to wait a couple more years (I wasn't even married yet at the time). The whole thing wound up being a stressful fiasco that made me worry it was already too late for me to have a family. It was ridiculous.

That is not what that means. I hear this a lot from women - older and younger - as a weird sort of humble brag. Women believe that they are better than if they are more fertile. I have a friend who had twins at an AMA. She tells everyone that she is TOO FERTILE. Oh my god! Who knew that she could have SO MANY babies? It's a weird flex because that's not what having twins at 39 means.

This entire thread is chockablock full of subtext where women base their inherent value on their perceived fertility levels. I'm not shocked by it but I'm surprised that it is not apparent to us all.

It was a joke, thus "lol"

Also, when working on your reading comprehension, consider context. This statement was about how my body produced an excess of the pregnancy hormones that cause morning sickness and thus I was violently ill through my pregnancy. Every time I went to the doctor because I couldn't keep food down (couldn't even keep my prenatal vitamins down), the doctors and nurses would say "it's good! it means your body is very excited about the pregnancy!" It was a joke about how I thought I couldn't get pregnant at all and instead I had some kind of Uber-pregnancy where my body was like woo-hoo we're pregnant let's have a nausea party!

I'm sorry you are incapable of understanding anything that doesn't directly support your narrow world view. That must be really hard.

Anonymous wrote:She said on the red carpet the other night that her pregnancy was unexpected. So must be an oops baby.

She probably thought she was old enough to not worry about taking birth control seriously.

She said on the red carpet the other night that her pregnancy was unexpected. So must be an oops baby.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another challenge in the stats is that most women over 40 are not trying to get pregnant. So fertility is even harder to gauge.

I have a 60-something colleague who was born when her mom was 50. It happens.

I think the reverse is also true; there are increasingly fewer early twenties women actively trying to get pregnant and birth control is pretty reliable, so it's unclear if their issues at 35 are due to age alone or they would have struggled as well when younger.

I know a lot of 30-something professionals who were great with birth control until they were 35+, assuming it was all like Brunch Granny said, they'd struggle, need IVF, etc. who were horrified (in a good way, but still shocked to their cores...) it took like a month or two. A lot of the data available is very dated.

This was me! I had been told explicitly by a reproductive specialist when I was 32 that I had signs of already-declining fertility and that if I wanted kids, I should either try to have them soon or freeze my eggs. It was really upsetting because I'd recently lost my job and the cost of egg extraction and freezing was overwhelming to me in that moment, and I felt like I was being told I'd never have kids.

I got pregnant in one period cycle at 36 and spent the entire pregnancy in a daze because I'd spent the previous 4 years coming to terms with the fact that I would probably never have kids, or that I'd sentenced myself to years of difficult fertility treatments. Had a healthy baby at 37. My pregnancy was kind of terrible, actually, but not due to fertility issues. Turns out my body produces a lot of excess pregnancy hormones, which meant I had HG and awful migraines throughout my pregnancy. I'm too fertile, lol.

I now understand that doctor was probably just pushing me to do an expensive and invasive procedure because that's how he makes money. I only went to him because after an abnormal pap (HPV and cancer tests came back clear), my doc recommended do a reproductive "pre-screening" since I had said I wanted kids but planned to wait a couple more years (I wasn't even married yet at the time). The whole thing wound up being a stressful fiasco that made me worry it was already too late for me to have a family. It was ridiculous.

That is not what that means. I hear this a lot from women - older and younger - as a weird sort of humble brag. Women believe that they are better than if they are more fertile. I have a friend who had twins at an AMA. She tells everyone that she is TOO FERTILE. Oh my god! Who knew that she could have SO MANY babies? It's a weird flex because that's not what having twins at 39 means.

This entire thread is chockablock full of subtext where women base their inherent value on their perceived fertility levels. I'm not shocked by it but I'm surprised that it is not apparent to us all.

It's not a humble brag. Not the poster who used the term. Unintended pregnancies can be DEVASTATING. Especially as we get further into a world where abortion is impossible for many women. Why not talk about - why not share experiences of getting pregnant later, planned or unplanned. And I don't mean demanding celebs let us know about their pregnancies but just not having such narrow paths for women.

You can be fertile but not TOO fertile lest you offend someone who is having a harder time. You should have babies, but not after a certain age because you are SELFISH! I mean just this thread alone is so inundated with these messages.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another challenge in the stats is that most women over 40 are not trying to get pregnant. So fertility is even harder to gauge.

I have a 60-something colleague who was born when her mom was 50. It happens.

I think the reverse is also true; there are increasingly fewer early twenties women actively trying to get pregnant and birth control is pretty reliable, so it's unclear if their issues at 35 are due to age alone or they would have struggled as well when younger.

I know a lot of 30-something professionals who were great with birth control until they were 35+, assuming it was all like Brunch Granny said, they'd struggle, need IVF, etc. who were horrified (in a good way, but still shocked to their cores...) it took like a month or two. A lot of the data available is very dated.

This was me! I had been told explicitly by a reproductive specialist when I was 32 that I had signs of already-declining fertility and that if I wanted kids, I should either try to have them soon or freeze my eggs. It was really upsetting because I'd recently lost my job and the cost of egg extraction and freezing was overwhelming to me in that moment, and I felt like I was being told I'd never have kids.

I got pregnant in one period cycle at 36 and spent the entire pregnancy in a daze because I'd spent the previous 4 years coming to terms with the fact that I would probably never have kids, or that I'd sentenced myself to years of difficult fertility treatments. Had a healthy baby at 37. My pregnancy was kind of terrible, actually, but not due to fertility issues. Turns out my body produces a lot of excess pregnancy hormones, which meant I had HG and awful migraines throughout my pregnancy. I'm too fertile, lol.

I now understand that doctor was probably just pushing me to do an expensive and invasive procedure because that's how he makes money. I only went to him because after an abnormal pap (HPV and cancer tests came back clear), my doc recommended do a reproductive "pre-screening" since I had said I wanted kids but planned to wait a couple more years (I wasn't even married yet at the time). The whole thing wound up being a stressful fiasco that made me worry it was already too late for me to have a family. It was ridiculous.

That is not what that means. I hear this a lot from women - older and younger - as a weird sort of humble brag. Women believe that they are better than if they are more fertile. I have a friend who had twins at an AMA. She tells everyone that she is TOO FERTILE. Oh my god! Who knew that she could have SO MANY babies? It's a weird flex because that's not what having twins at 39 means.

This entire thread is chockablock full of subtext where women base their inherent value on their perceived fertility levels. I'm not shocked by it but I'm surprised that it is not apparent to us all.

That's partly because we have been repeatedly told that 35 is "geriatric" maternal age and constantly reminded that our value is linked to our youth aka being fertile. It's a bit pathetic but not surprising that some of us become so pleasantly surprised when we find out we are still fertile in our forties.

Anonymous wrote:Yet no talk of Hillary Swank at 48 years old expecting twins.

There's a long thread on it - just search.

Yet no talk of Hillary Swank at 48 years old expecting twins.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another challenge in the stats is that most women over 40 are not trying to get pregnant. So fertility is even harder to gauge.

I have a 60-something colleague who was born when her mom was 50. It happens.

I think the reverse is also true; there are increasingly fewer early twenties women actively trying to get pregnant and birth control is pretty reliable, so it's unclear if their issues at 35 are due to age alone or they would have struggled as well when younger.

I know a lot of 30-something professionals who were great with birth control until they were 35+, assuming it was all like Brunch Granny said, they'd struggle, need IVF, etc. who were horrified (in a good way, but still shocked to their cores...) it took like a month or two. A lot of the data available is very dated.

This was me! I had been told explicitly by a reproductive specialist when I was 32 that I had signs of already-declining fertility and that if I wanted kids, I should either try to have them soon or freeze my eggs. It was really upsetting because I'd recently lost my job and the cost of egg extraction and freezing was overwhelming to me in that moment, and I felt like I was being told I'd never have kids.

I got pregnant in one period cycle at 36 and spent the entire pregnancy in a daze because I'd spent the previous 4 years coming to terms with the fact that I would probably never have kids, or that I'd sentenced myself to years of difficult fertility treatments. Had a healthy baby at 37. My pregnancy was kind of terrible, actually, but not due to fertility issues. Turns out my body produces a lot of excess pregnancy hormones, which meant I had HG and awful migraines throughout my pregnancy. I'm too fertile, lol.

I now understand that doctor was probably just pushing me to do an expensive and invasive procedure because that's how he makes money. I only went to him because after an abnormal pap (HPV and cancer tests came back clear), my doc recommended do a reproductive "pre-screening" since I had said I wanted kids but planned to wait a couple more years (I wasn't even married yet at the time). The whole thing wound up being a stressful fiasco that made me worry it was already too late for me to have a family. It was ridiculous.

That is not what that means. I hear this a lot from women - older and younger - as a weird sort of humble brag. Women believe that they are better than if they are more fertile. I have a friend who had twins at an AMA. She tells everyone that she is TOO FERTILE. Oh my god! Who knew that she could have SO MANY babies? It's a weird flex because that's not what having twins at 39 means.

This entire thread is chockablock full of subtext where women base their inherent value on their perceived fertility levels. I'm not shocked by it but I'm surprised that it is not apparent to us all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another challenge in the stats is that most women over 40 are not trying to get pregnant. So fertility is even harder to gauge.

I have a 60-something colleague who was born when her mom was 50. It happens.

I think the reverse is also true; there are increasingly fewer early twenties women actively trying to get pregnant and birth control is pretty reliable, so it's unclear if their issues at 35 are due to age alone or they would have struggled as well when younger.

I know a lot of 30-something professionals who were great with birth control until they were 35+, assuming it was all like Brunch Granny said, they'd struggle, need IVF, etc. who were horrified (in a good way, but still shocked to their cores...) it took like a month or two. A lot of the data available is very dated.

This was me! I had been told explicitly by a reproductive specialist when I was 32 that I had signs of already-declining fertility and that if I wanted kids, I should either try to have them soon or freeze my eggs. It was really upsetting because I'd recently lost my job and the cost of egg extraction and freezing was overwhelming to me in that moment, and I felt like I was being told I'd never have kids.

I got pregnant in one period cycle at 36 and spent the entire pregnancy in a daze because I'd spent the previous 4 years coming to terms with the fact that I would probably never have kids, or that I'd sentenced myself to years of difficult fertility treatments. Had a healthy baby at 37. My pregnancy was kind of terrible, actually, but not due to fertility issues. Turns out my body produces a lot of excess pregnancy hormones, which meant I had HG and awful migraines throughout my pregnancy. I'm too fertile, lol.

I now understand that doctor was probably just pushing me to do an expensive and invasive procedure because that's how he makes money. I only went to him because after an abnormal pap (HPV and cancer tests came back clear), my doc recommended do a reproductive "pre-screening" since I had said I wanted kids but planned to wait a couple more years (I wasn't even married yet at the time). The whole thing wound up being a stressful fiasco that made me worry it was already too late for me to have a family. It was ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whatever happened to a simple “congratulations” when someone announces a pregnancy?

Because rich celebrities trafficking dis and misinformation about women's fertility and health is disgusting and should be called out.

Go away, misogynist.

Women can choose when they want to brunch. And when they want to procreate. And it’s not on your timeline.

Actually we can't. It becomes nearly impossible to get pregnant naturally for most women after age 35.

LOL. You are either trying to troll or you have no idea what you are talking about.

Or both.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you read menopause threads, it hits at a wide range of ages. I am almost 48 and still have periods like clockwork and no signs of perimenopause. I recently had my hormone levels tested and while that isn't anything definitive, they were still the same as they were fifteen years ago. While I have no idea if a pregnancy would be viable at this point, I have no doubt I am still fertile.

43 is young!

43 is young for many things, but not birthing babies. Come on, now.

+1. Getting pregnant at this age is less than 5% per cycle. It might work for some women but the "oh, it happened to so and so" is just ridiculous. I know that women want to hear that they can have kids whenever they want, but it's just not true. We're doing ourselves a disservice by continuing this lie. The truth should be - If you wait until you are 40+, you will most likely not reproductive assistance. It will be difficult to get pregnant for most women. There is a slight chance that you get pregnant naturally but you shouldn't bank on it.

Is that so hard?

This forum is full of lonely aging women who lie to themselves that they’ll still find mister right and have kids. It’s gross.

That really was a very cruel remark. Why would you say something like that? Why is it gross for ANY person to want to fall in love and have a family? It’s gross that you would make a mean spirited comment directed at women who are most likely facing the terribly sad journey through infertility.

Because your projection involves cyberbullying and spewing misinformation and disinformation which you know is false. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to others about reproduction science and human biology.

Stop being a dick with your dumb trolling.