Reply to DH Can’t Stand Having Two Kids… 2 Years Later

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]BTDT.  Do not inflict this man on DC #2.  My daughter has always felt, deep in her bones, that there is something wrong with her relationship with her father.  Which translates to her feeling there is something not quite good enough about HER.

Count your blessings and stick with one.[/quote]

I’m the daughter in this situation and I’ve had low self esteem all my life. I’ve had anorexia since 14.

It really messes with a girl to know that her father doesn’t really love her.[/quote]

Oh please.

You cannot blame your dad for your anorexia. [/quote]

In therapy I worked out that I developed anorexia as a way to punish myself because I hate myself. Reply hate myself because my father showed me that I was unwanted/annoying/a burden.

Im in therapy for something else but my therapist wanted to get to the root of my self loathing and she says it’s always something foundational in childhood.[/quote]

I am sick of blaming parents for all your ills.  I was a planned child but my mother died when I was four and my father was in the military.  I lived with my aunt, mother's sister, for a year.  At age 5 he put me in a boarding school and I spent two years there without seeing him because he was overseas.  After that, I saw him as Christmas and spent two months in summer at my aunt's.  I turned out fine--no eating disorders, [b]I don't hate my father because he did the best he could.  [/b]

We make our own decisions as adults and we live with the consequences.  [/quote]

You should definitely be in therapy to understand empathy. The bolded is COMPLETELY different from the PP you are responding to. [/quote]

Buzz off!  I am a grown woman and I am responsible for my life and choices.  Blaming everyone else in your life for your bad choices or choices and actions of your parents is counterproductive.  [/quote]

You soundike you don’t know much about eating disorders tbh. EDs are addictions. They’re often lifelong. You can go through periods of being “in remission” so to speak but then it comes back in times of stress. Much like substance addictions.

It’s totally plausible to me that a girl feeling resented and unwanted can by her father could cause one then it becomes an addictive, maladaptive behavior that is very difficult to get rid of.[/quote]

No.  I do not believe in eating disorders. My nephew, supposedly, had an eating disorder and only ate three things--pizza, spaghetti, and PB&J sandwiches on white bread.  He wanted to visit my family and I told him that he would eat what I served or go hungry.  He ate seconds of just about everything.  He finally admitted that he only had his "eating disorder" with his mother. I also don't believe in blaming everyone else in your life for your problems.

I also have zero tolerance for alcoholics and drug addicts.  Choices have consequences.[/quote]

The bootstrap brigade has arrived. It’s been a good chat but it’s time to end the thread. [/quote]

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