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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My wife isn't cool with getting rid of weekly house cleaning so we can pay for preschool. She has a part-time job on the weekends as a concierge. She's been a stay-at-home mom since our oldest was born. I am on board with her working or not working. Our first child was invited to public preschool because he was in an early intervention program. The second child's preschool won't be free. He goes to the YMCA at least four times a week for two hours a day, and they swim for another hour. My wife thinks gym childcare can provide a preschool experience.[/quote]

OP here. We can afford both. I feel that weekly housekeeping is excessive. My wife doesn't want our child in preschool because she has trust issues. She would be okay with our child going to a public PreK, but that's not an option where we live. She feels the YMCA is the next best thing to regular preschool. I wasn't aware of any of this until today. She wants to hold onto him a while longer. She's terrified of school shootings. I suggested getting rid of a weekly housekeeper because I don't feel like we need it every week. My wife is OCD. The private preschool I have looked at is Montessori, and they are expensive. [/quote]

Jeez. If you communicate with your wife the way you communicate here, you need to majorly up your game. Nothing about your initial framing is true!

So - first of all, these are now totally and completely different things. Stop talking about them in the same breath!

Second of all, if you can afford it, of course have the cleaners come weekly. Sheesh. It's important to your wife, she's the one home, not you, and she's the one who would pick up the slack, and not you. It's not &quot;excessive&quot; - weekly cleaning (whether outsourced or done by the people who live there) is pretty standard.

Third, is your wife being treated for the OCD? How is that going? THAT needs to be your focus - your wife's mental health. That's miles above whether/what preschool for your kid. Is she getting the support she needs? How is she doing? Is it worsening or getting better? What does her therapist say about the preschool thing? This is where your focus needs to be.

Fourth - on preschool - I still think you're missing something - why is public pre-K safe from school shooting but not private? Why is her ranking public pre-K &gt; YMCA &gt; private Montessori? How many hours is the Montessori school? How old is your kid? Is there a compromise to be had - like, no pre-k 3 but then for PK4 he goes to a part time program of your wife's choosing? You still need to do a LOT of listening and talking to even figure out where she's coming from because what you're saying doesn't make sense. When she says &quot;trust issues&quot; - what is she afraid of?

Finally - back to the communication. Get better at it. Seriously. You need to learn to listen. [/quote]

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