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[quote=Anonymous]Number one worst person here is, as others have said, the friend. And not in some anti feminist kind of way.

What the husband did was bad, kind of. I do think you should be able to talk about people you think are hot with your best friend (male or female). Not in grotesque trump like locker room talk but talking about thinking someone is hot is just surface level and generally obvious. If he had been like, 'oh my nanny is hot and here is her instagram account that I have already found and regularly look at' I would be saying something different.

The friend though, as others have said, weaponized this. It does create a wedge, even if OP and her husband both wish it wasn't there. It becomes active attraction instead of passive and will be present in the room whenever they are together. Friend would know this. I literally cannot imagine going up to any friend's husband and saying something like this. Either the friend is total space cadet clueless or was trying to be mean.

And for the record, the actions of the husband vs friend have to be evaluated entirely on their own merits. I think the argument that husband was indiscreet and therefore bad is reasonable but not incompatible with indiscreet friend being a jerk.

Nanny is entirely innocent in all of this. [/quote]

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