Reply to Here's the thing I don't understand about husbands who don't help out

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Here's the thing I don't understand about husbands who don't help out"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]
Yeah see I would have given my husband three options:

1.  Do your share 
2.  Hire someone to do it (In your case a housekeeper multiple times a week)
3.  I move out with 50/50 custody [/quote]

I did hire it out for a few years [b]after my third was born[/b].  I couldn’t do it anymore, and he started expecting that it would be done. We had a housekeeper 25 hours/week.  I don’t really recall giving DH an option, but maybe I did.

My point was just that this was gradual.  It wasn’t like we moved in together and he didn’t know how to take care of himself, so I taught him how.  [/quote]

You had a third baby with a man child?  And now you’re complaining and you say it was gradual.  Cmon.  You made conscious decisions along the way the led to this situation.  Including having a third baby!  Take control of your life and stand up for yourself.

This just reenforces  my belief that women are a big part of the problem   [/quote]

Say what you will about me.  DH is a man child, or I am weak or a woman child because I wasn’t a good cook or housekeeper before we were married and couldn’t train my husband.  But don’t say that my children should never have been born.  
You should meet my third child.  She is eight years old now and absolutely wonderful.  She is brilliant and brave and beautiful and kind.  She is a wonderful public speaker and will talk about the importance of love and kindness to big groups of people, including other children and adults. She loves music and math and writes long stories about a fantasy world where butterflies have six wings and telekinesis.  DH and I are so lucky to be her parents.

Compared to parenthood, housework is such small stuff.

[/quote]

NP here.  I think the poster was saying that you made deliberate choice.  You decided you would rather have a 3rd child than force the issue of an equal partner.  To be clear, I don’t know if forcing the issue would have worked with your DH.  There was the 5 types of relationship situations that someone posted and they were right on that what may or may not work depends on which situation that you are in.  I will say that some people I know and myself included probably had guy #1 or 2, where if you are willing to say early in the situation, this isn’t working we need to come up with something we can both live with, you can get things on track.  If you had the guy that was never going to change, maybe your choice was stop at one or two kids and potentially 50/50 custody or have the number of kids you wanted with him knowing that you would have to do most of it yourself.  The point is you made an active choice, maybe not from ideal options, but it wasn’t something that just happened by child 3 and that may have been the best choice for you.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics