Reply to Here's the thing I don't understand about husbands who don't help out

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t know if formula is the answer as PP said above, but I do think lack of paternity leave is a huge factor. Multiple studies have shown that paternity leave results in fathers who are more heavily involved with their children.

Boggles my mind that men don’t fight for it. Instead they complain it’s not fair that women get it, or get paid for it. Like...if you think it’s not fair, why don’t you fight for that right for yourself, rather than demanding no one else have it?[/quote]

My DH got six weeks of fully paid paternity leave. He complained that he was bored and would point out that taking care of an infant was not a two person job. I had to patiently explain to him that (1) parental leave is not a vacation and never has been, and (2) his actual job was to help care for the baby AND to take care of the person who had just been discharged from the hospital after a 9 month pregnancy and giving birth to a child, and who was then keeping the child alive via breastfeeding. It really had not occurred to him that taking care of me was part of the point. He hopped on bard after that, but it was very annoying to have to explain it to him because it should be obvious.

For so long, maternity leave has been painted as some kind of scam women are pulling over on their employers, and that has trickled down to men thinking that if they get paternity leave, they too can scam their employers into a long paid vacation. [/quote]

Im sorry about what you went through with your husband. I get how annoying it is - I had to explain to mine that no, I wasn’t going to sleep on an air mattress after giving birth so his parents could have the bed in our tiny condo when they came to visit. Men 🙄

How is he now? More involved?

I haven’t met any man who wanted paternity leave as a vacation, but I have met men who didn’t want to take it because of the impact it would have on their career. These are usually the same men who claim men and women have total equality in the workplace. I wanted to scream, lol.

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