Reply to WWYD? Struggling to help my devastated teen DD whose friends/teammates pranked her.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP back, this has been so helpful, thank you all for posting.  Here are some of my takeaways:

This really was bullying.

Not saying something would force my DD to "keep the peace" and essentially be a victim twice.

OK to tell coach because this is unsportsmanlike behavior and he should know that two teammates are bullying other(s).

She gets to decide whether to stay or go.

Other parents may or may not have known.

Arranger-Parent likely wouldn't care.

Did I get all that right?  Anything else?[/quote]

Ok.  This is OP again.  The above were my original takeaways way back on page 3.  After all the discussion I think I am here now:

This really was bullying.

I can't and won't say anything to school or coach because my DD has asked me not to.  Likewise re Sports Star.

She gets to decide whether to stay or leave the team.

Other parents may or may not have known including the Arranger-Parent.

There is an event at the school this weekend (not team related) where I will likely run into one or more of the parents of teammates.  This will be the first time our paths have crossed since.  When they ask "How's it going?" what do I say?  And how do I suppress the urge to say Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?[/quote]

OP, I would be breezy. I wouldn't bring up the incident- assuming the other parents will sympathize, it is still the wrong place/ wrong time. You might talk with your DD again about speaking to the coach, but if she doesn't want you to, then don't. The only times I've gone against my DS's wishes on something like that, the behavior from other students was ongoing, inappropriate in a way that couldn't be ignored, and my DS felt threatened. While this is bullying, it doesn't meet the threshold where your DD feels threatened or the behavior is potentially dangerous. 
If the bullying continues, I would re-visit this with your DD and tell her that you *are* going to the coach because it's the right thing to do. I've said this to my son- "you're not grown yet, and I still get to decide where I'm needed." [/quote]

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