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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]13:23 -- please be less vague so we know the appropriate measures to take. How can we protect our kids? Thank you. [/quote] I dunno. But I'm pretty sure that a lot of energies are misdirected. As a PP just noted, LISTENING to your kids is huge. If your child doesn't like Uncle Gary, don't make her play with him just because he seems to love kids so much. If you have knowledge or even suspicion of any prior misdeeds, watch your kid like a hawk around that person. I find that it's not black and white; that sometimes we might not be sure enough of our suspicions to rock the family boat with an accusation, but we can still be vigilant. And of course talk talk talk to your child about what is appropriate and what is not. It's so easy for children to convince one another of something, where the parents have left an information vacuum. Make sure your kid knows that no one is allowed to touch him without mom/dad in the room; that she won't get in trouble for "telling" after the fact; that anything that makes her uncomfortable is NOT "normal"; that he has the final say about his body. Etc. Perhaps victims of molestation could tell us how the adult in their life got away with it-- what was said or done to make the child submit-- and that would help other parents formulate the lessons to help their children protect themselves. [/quote] Listening and BELIEVING. My mother died when I was very young but my father wanted us to know her family and my sister I would would spend a month with them in the summer. My sister was pretty well developed by the time she was 13 and she later told me that our Great uncle, with whom we stayed, used to chsse her around trying to fondle her breasts. I always wondered why she had me stay with her when she went to the bathroom or took a bath (no lock on bathroom door) and why she always put a chair under the doorknob when we went to bed. I was 6 years younger than my sister and the summer I was 7, this same uncle took me to the apple orchard, ostensibly so the cook would bake an apple pie, and he unzipped his pants and exposed his penis. He told me to lick it like it was an ice cream cone and he would buy me a strawberry ice crea cone later that day, but it was a secret and I couldn't tell anyone. I looked at him and said, "that's nasty." and ran back to the house. It was Sunday dinner and in the South there were always tons of people there for dinner (dinner was served in middle of day, breakfast, dinner, supper) and my father was there. I came running in and said, "Daddy, Uncle Iverson is nasty because he pulled out his 'tinkle' and told me to lick it like it was an ice cream cone." Without hesitating, my father stood up, he was in the the military and was wearing his uniform tht day, and looked at my Great Aunt and said, "Miss Betty, I would like to see you and Mr. Iverson, alone, please." about five minutes later, he came back and went into the kitchen and asked cook to pack our things. I had another great uncle who lived up the road (this was in the country) and after that incident we would spend our month in the summer with them. After my sister graduated from high school and was in college, she always had a summer job and didn't have to go there in the summer. My two female cousins and I were the same age and the only way I was allowed to visit Aunt Betty was with them and I could arrive no earlier than 11:00 a.m. and had to leave no later than 2:00 p.m. when Cook left and my great aunt took a nap. Thank heavens, my father believed me and acted immediately. I have no doubt that he molested other chldren and even though there were other people who heard me, some of them said I was "imagining" things and years later told me that I should be ashamed because I had hurt the reputation of my great uncle. [/quote]
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