Reply to Closed Adoption and found the birth mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My brothers girlfriend gave up a child about 15 years ago.  She was 15 at the time.  I wonder what will happen in a few years but my horrible racist mom definitely would not be kind to the child if she was contacted (child was mixed race).  I don’t know if my brother had told his wife but I’d assume so.  I still do not know how accepting they’d be as they are trump supporters.[/quote]

Also what would she want from us?  We don’t have any known medical stuff on our side (except maybe some mental issues bc trumpers).  If we don’t have info nor want a relationship what else is there?  Money?[/quote]

After watching the TV shows, the adoptees want the family stories, compare pictures of themselves, they want to come for Christmas dinners and be included in family events (maybe more like a cousin than a sibling though). They are looking for a second set of parents. I think most kids dream of having these fantastic parents out there who will love them more. All of it seems kind of delusional.

I wonder if egg donors are going to run into the same issues. [/quote]

Yes, but real life isn't like a TV show...we can see from reality shows that they aren't anything close to reality. Most adoptees are not looking for a family. They only want  to know the circumstances of their birth, who they look like, their heritage and ethnicity. There is little else that can happen and they know that. Esoteric examples of stalking, harrassment, etc., are not a reality in this paradigm at all. There has been a lot of research on this. Overwhelmingly, these folks are just claiming their biological right, not their social right. For every example that is given  regarding someone who has trespassed inappropriately, there is an equal example of a birth mother who has also trespassed after adoption, and yet both scenarios do not represent the actual situation by any critical percentage.  The laws were not designed to protect the birth mothers, but the adoptive parents- so they can raise  the children without fear. But none of this matters when that child is an adult. The parent or sibling of the original birth family absolutely cannot claim sole proprietary ownership of a biological heritage for generations to come. It is not theirs to own.  There are the children and grandchildren and so on of that adopted child that are affected.

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