Reply to What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Suggested I abort our child because he wasn't ready to be a dad.

Other than that he's not selfish at all.[/quote]

Unless you two decided to get pregnant together and then he told you, I don't think there's anything wrong with this.  If anything, it's selfish of you to have a child when you know its father doesn't want it. [/quote]

Wanting to have your baby isn't being selfish. Wanting to kill an inconvenient baby is being selfish.[/quote]

Haven’t you heard? It’s not a baby, it’s just a group of cells.[/quote]

Hardly the universal opinion among parents.[/quote]

Only among educated ones.[/quote]

No. People at least as educated as you can disagree with you on this. [/quote]

I got pregnant as a result of BC failure.  I can assure you that what is truly selfish is having a baby that you have no or little interest in putting in the time and effort to raise.    I wish the father had been honest with me and said, "I am not interested in being a father, I think abortion is the best choice.".[b] That would have been infinitely preferable to watching my repeatedly disappointed kids for 20 years. [/b] [/quote]

You wish you had aborted your kids? You are gem, must have been a great mother. [/quote]

I did not say I wished to have an abortion.  I said I wished the father had been honest about his committment, or lack thereof, to all that fatherhood requires.

I am a terrific mom, and I have terrific kids.  But, had I known that their father was uninterested in doing the work of fatherhood, I would have chosen to have an abortion.  BTW, at that point, IMO, they were not "kids;" they were a fetus that could not survive outside my womb and may or may not have developed on their own to full term birth. Had I had an abortion, I would have had some other kids, with an involved father.  I would have been a great mother to those kids to and those kids would have been just as great and loved as my kids that I have now.  I think it is dishonest to put women in the position of having to bear children in all circumstances or else they are labelled "bad moms" who "don't love their kids." Women who have abortions are often demanding to have the chance to raise children in the better circumstances.

I have no problem with parents who choose to have kids out of wedlock, but what is truly selfish is convincing a partner to continue an unplanned pregnancy when you have no ability and/or no intention to be a fully involved co-parent.

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