Anonymous
01/17/2018 16:18
Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Had a love child.
Did you guys divorce? Does he bring the child around?
No, still married.
The mother, sadly, does not allow the child to come around our house so he sees the child separately.
This always amazes me. Honestly don't you really hate him? I get it that many have to stay married because of health, money, kids etc. issues. However there is no way I'd ever love that person let alone like them.
Hope you have money he doesn't know about..
No I don't hate him. I do have much better boundaries now, though.
Love doesn't really come into it. We have a big house and young children, and I don't wish to carry the load with two hands when four are available. Since there is no divorce in the works, it makes little sense to continue the hostilities. We are amiable coworkers. Our money has always been separate and he will inherit nothing if I go before him.
Anonymous
01/17/2018 15:50
Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:Knew he had herpes and never told me. I ended up contracting it from him.
Yuck! I hope you got rid of him right away. Unforgivable. No coming back after that...
Anonymous
01/17/2018 15:47
Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Suggested I abort our child because he wasn't ready to be a dad.
Other than that he's not selfish at all.
Unless you two decided to get pregnant together and then he told you, I don't think there's anything wrong with this. If anything, it's selfish of you to have a child when you know its father doesn't want it.
Wanting to have your baby isn't being selfish. Wanting to kill an inconvenient baby is being selfish.
Haven’t you heard? It’s not a baby, it’s just a group of cells.
Hardly the universal opinion among parents.
Only among educated ones.
No. People at least as educated as you can disagree with you on this.
I got pregnant as a result of BC failure. I can assure you that what is truly selfish is having a baby that you have no or little interest in putting in the time and effort to raise. I wish the father had been honest with me and said, "I am not interested in being a father, I think abortion is the best choice.". That would have been infinitely preferable to watching my repeatedly disappointed kids for 20 years.
You wish you had aborted your kids? You are gem, must have been a great mother.
Not only that. So what forget the idiot guy, you had the treasure. He could slip on a banana peel, why care. Have fun with your kids and if you are a good parent you will be close. She makes zero sense. My kids come before anyone else. I wonder if she kept rubbing it in her kids face or bring up how lame the dad is.
Anonymous
01/17/2018 15:42
Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Had a love child.
Did you guys divorce? Does he bring the child around?
No, still married.
The mother, sadly, does not allow the child to come around our house so he sees the child separately.
This always amazes me. Honestly don't you really hate him? I get it that many have to stay married because of health, money, kids etc. issues. However there is no way I'd ever love that person let alone like them.
Hope you have money he doesn't know about..
Anonymous
01/17/2018 15:38
Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
i am home on medical leave after an extensive surgery, today is DH’s telework day, school is cancelled, it’s 340PM and he is still sleeping, I am with the kids while on Percocet.
Anonymous
01/17/2018 15:22
Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
He applied for jobs without keeping me updated about every single job he applied for.
Anonymous
01/17/2018 15:19
Subject: Re:What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:He chose alcohol over his family.
There's a lot more to this story.
That quote could have been mine and no, there isn't much more to the story if it were. Sometimes I thought about dressing up the gallon jugs of cheap wine she kept as me, or our kids. For that wine was her first love and after that, there wasn't anything left. It really is the most selfish choice.
Anonymous
01/17/2018 12:51
Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Suggested I abort our child because he wasn't ready to be a dad.
Other than that he's not selfish at all.
Unless you two decided to get pregnant together and then he told you, I don't think there's anything wrong with this. If anything, it's selfish of you to have a child when you know its father doesn't want it.
Wanting to have your baby isn't being selfish. Wanting to kill an inconvenient baby is being selfish.
Haven’t you heard? It’s not a baby, it’s just a group of cells.
Hardly the universal opinion among parents.
Only among educated ones.
No. People at least as educated as you can disagree with you on this.
I got pregnant as a result of BC failure. I can assure you that what is truly selfish is having a baby that you have no or little interest in putting in the time and effort to raise. I wish the father had been honest with me and said, "I am not interested in being a father, I think abortion is the best choice.". That would have been infinitely preferable to watching my repeatedly disappointed kids for 20 years.
You wish you had aborted your kids? You are gem, must have been a great mother.
I did not say I wished to have an abortion. I said I wished the father had been honest about his committment, or lack thereof, to all that fatherhood requires.
I am a terrific mom, and I have terrific kids. But, had I known that their father was uninterested in doing the work of fatherhood, I would have chosen to have an abortion. BTW, at that point, IMO, they were not "kids;" they were a fetus that could not survive outside my womb and may or may not have developed on their own to full term birth. Had I had an abortion, I would have had some other kids, with an involved father. I would have been a great mother to those kids to and those kids would have been just as great and loved as my kids that I have now. I think it is dishonest to put women in the position of having to bear children in all circumstances or else they are labelled "bad moms" who "don't love their kids." Women who have abortions are often demanding to have the chance to raise children in the better circumstances.
I have no problem with parents who choose to have kids out of wedlock, but what is truly selfish is convincing a partner to continue an unplanned pregnancy when you have no ability and/or no intention to be a fully involved co-parent.
I am a terrific mom, and I have terrific kids.............but i would have aborted them. Nice, tell them that.
" I think it is dishonest to put women in the position of having to bear children in all circumstances or else they are labelled "bad moms" who "don't love their kids." Women who have abortions are often demanding to have the chance to raise children in the better circumstances. --People have a right to make decisions on what they do with tier body but that was a bunch of touchy feely crap. No one is "put women in the position" (she and the loser she let stick his dick in her got in that position) and a I dont hear calling them bad mothers for being in a bad spot. Anyone that does needs to take a hard look at themselves and the reality is they may be in a tough spot to someday.
"Women who have abortions are often demanding to have the chance to raise children in the better circumstances. " Demanding, what are you talking about? Do you mean aborting when they are in a bad position? Thats not demanding,
Anonymous
01/17/2018 11:15
Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Suggested I abort our child because he wasn't ready to be a dad.
Other than that he's not selfish at all.
Unless you two decided to get pregnant together and then he told you, I don't think there's anything wrong with this. If anything, it's selfish of you to have a child when you know its father doesn't want it.
Wanting to have your baby isn't being selfish. Wanting to kill an inconvenient baby is being selfish.
Haven’t you heard? It’s not a baby, it’s just a group of cells.
Hardly the universal opinion among parents.
Only among educated ones.
No. People at least as educated as you can disagree with you on this.
I got pregnant as a result of BC failure. I can assure you that what is truly selfish is having a baby that you have no or little interest in putting in the time and effort to raise. I wish the father had been honest with me and said, "I am not interested in being a father, I think abortion is the best choice.". That would have been infinitely preferable to watching my repeatedly disappointed kids for 20 years.
You wish you had aborted your kids? You are gem, must have been a great mother.
I did not say I wished to have an abortion. I said I wished the father had been honest about his committment, or lack thereof, to all that fatherhood requires.
I am a terrific mom, and I have terrific kids. But, had I known that their father was uninterested in doing the work of fatherhood, I would have chosen to have an abortion. BTW, at that point, IMO, they were not "kids;" they were a fetus that could not survive outside my womb and may or may not have developed on their own to full term birth. Had I had an abortion, I would have had some other kids, with an involved father. I would have been a great mother to those kids to and those kids would have been just as great and loved as my kids that I have now. I think it is dishonest to put women in the position of having to bear children in all circumstances or else they are labelled "bad moms" who "don't love their kids." Women who have abortions are often demanding to have the chance to raise children in the better circumstances.
I have no problem with parents who choose to have kids out of wedlock, but what is truly selfish is convincing a partner to continue an unplanned pregnancy when you have no ability and/or no intention to be a fully involved co-parent.
Anonymous
01/17/2018 08:53
Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Suggested I abort our child because he wasn't ready to be a dad.
Other than that he's not selfish at all.
Unless you two decided to get pregnant together and then he told you, I don't think there's anything wrong with this. If anything, it's selfish of you to have a child when you know its father doesn't want it.
Wanting to have your baby isn't being selfish. Wanting to kill an inconvenient baby is being selfish.
Haven’t you heard? It’s not a baby, it’s just a group of cells.
Hardly the universal opinion among parents.
Only among educated ones.
No. People at least as educated as you can disagree with you on this.
I got pregnant as a result of BC failure. I can assure you that what is truly selfish is having a baby that you have no or little interest in putting in the time and effort to raise. I wish the father had been honest with me and said, "I am not interested in being a father, I think abortion is the best choice.". That would have been infinitely preferable to watching my repeatedly disappointed kids for 20 years.
You wish you had aborted your kids? You are gem, must have been a great mother.
Anonymous
01/17/2018 08:50
Subject: Re:What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:I'd heard so much about Breaking Bad, I started watching the old episodes on Hulu. I realized what a fabulous series it was, told DH he'd love it and we should watch it together. I re-watched half the first season with him (so we could enjoy it together and talk about it, KWIM?). We watched 2 seasons together. He then got sick and took a week off work. While he was off, he watched all the remaining episodes without me. But, he didn't tell me until after he'd watched them all! What a selfish prick! I have since refused to watch any more of them. F*ck it.
Now, I don't even bother to find shows we might watch together. I just look for shows our tween DS and I can enjoy together (it was something we did even before binging on Breaking Bad). When DH asks me about shows we should watch together, I just look at him and say "Breaking Bad".
Otherwise, he's a good guy and our marriage is pretty good.
we have a don't ask don't tell policy about this. DH travels a lot for work and I know he watches/finished entire seasons in his hotel room. But he pretends he hasn't so that we watch them together. Now that is love.
oh, if we're talking about having a baby--DH did not stay with me with #2 (which was my first c section). I sent him home to care for our toddler. I was in good hands, though. The first baby, it was nice to have him there and obviously he wanted to be there and bond with the baby, etc. But there's a lot of just sitting around while mom tries to nurse. I wanted DH to bring me some decent food, decent coffee, and field the phone calls, etc. And, he had to run out to get preemie clothes at the last minute because we had a full term but unexpectedly tiny baby.
1. you are depriving yourself of a great series because he watched it when he was sick. F that, watch dont punish yoursef for something so silly.
2. How is that selfish? You sound pretty selfish your self "I sent him", and going to get preemie clothes is selfish?
Anonymous
01/17/2018 08:44
Subject: Re:What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He got upset when I told him I'd need him to stay with me overnight in the hospital after I gave birth to our daughter. He'd been hoping to sleep at home then come back in the mornings and was very upset he had to sleep on the uncomfortable recliner in my recovery room. It wasn't our finest moment but honestly, we were both so exhausted after a multi-day induction that neither of us were thinking clearly. It was a single moment of dumb@ssness from an otherwise wonderful man.
Is it really so bad? I wouldn't want to sleep on that stupid recliner either and if he's just going home to sleep and coming right back in the morning... why is that a big deal?
Because I hadn't slept for 48 hours. Because we were in a "baby friendly" hospital that provided absolutely no help with the baby besides coming in and yelling at me for doing apparently every single thing wrong, they literally wouldn't even hand me the baby if they were already in the room. Because the call button in our room didn't work so if there had been an issue, I couldn't have alerted the nurses (I tried shouting and they didn't hear me). Because my epidural didn't wear off for hours so I couldn't stand up to get the baby on my own. Because, even after the epidural finally wore off, I had a 3rd degree tear and needed help getting out of bed each and every time and needed help getting onto and off of the toilet.
Because I needed him there.
You sound really needy.
+1000. Next time hire assistants to be with you. Or choose a different hospital.
Given the atrocious rate of maternal death in this country, I think it’s absolutely necessary for women to have an advocate by their side to help monitor and speak up for them — especially important in hospitals without nurseries where these women are expected to provide care while recovering. Hospitals are too understaffed and focused solely on the baby’s well-being. This is how women are dying from postpartum preeclampsia, etc.
It’s not being needy — it’s being smart.
No its needy to criticize someone for falling asleep or taking a nap at that point. The increased rate of maternal death is insanely stupid, almost beyond idiotic idf you look at graphically it is mind-boggling. No one seems to want to address the sources: increasing age during pregnancy, being fat, induced labors, c-sections and idiots to dumb to sign up for Obama care.
Anonymous
01/17/2018 08:23
Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:My STBX went home after the birth of our son - home was fifteen minutes away - to pick up some things, including food. He ended up falling asleep and came back five hours later.
You must be a nightmare to be married to. Get over yourself.
Anonymous
01/17/2018 08:13
Subject: Re:What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He got upset when I told him I'd need him to stay with me overnight in the hospital after I gave birth to our daughter. He'd been hoping to sleep at home then come back in the mornings and was very upset he had to sleep on the uncomfortable recliner in my recovery room. It wasn't our finest moment but honestly, we were both so exhausted after a multi-day induction that neither of us were thinking clearly. It was a single moment of dumb@ssness from an otherwise wonderful man.
Is it really so bad? I wouldn't want to sleep on that stupid recliner either and if he's just going home to sleep and coming right back in the morning... why is that a big deal?
Because I hadn't slept for 48 hours. Because we were in a "baby friendly" hospital that provided absolutely no help with the baby besides coming in and yelling at me for doing apparently every single thing wrong, they literally wouldn't even hand me the baby if they were already in the room. Because the call button in our room didn't work so if there had been an issue, I couldn't have alerted the nurses (I tried shouting and they didn't hear me). Because my epidural didn't wear off for hours so I couldn't stand up to get the baby on my own. Because, even after the epidural finally wore off, I had a 3rd degree tear and needed help getting out of bed each and every time and needed help getting onto and off of the toilet.
Because I needed him there.
You sound really needy.
+1000. Next time hire assistants to be with you. Or choose a different hospital.
Given the atrocious rate of maternal death in this country, I think it’s absolutely necessary for women to have an advocate by their side to help monitor and speak up for them — especially important in hospitals without nurseries where these women are expected to provide care while recovering. Hospitals are too understaffed and focused solely on the baby’s well-being. This is how women are dying from postpartum preeclampsia, etc.
It’s not being needy — it’s being smart.
Anonymous
01/07/2018 18:49
Subject: What's the most selfish thing your spouse has done?
Got drunk (like falling over drunk) the night of the Super Bowl because his favorite team won it...I was due the following Tuesday. Stumbled into the house at midnight, puked in the toilet, fell asleep. I gave birth 36 hours later.
He’s never done anything like that since (or before the incident, really) so I’m over it but damn if I wasn’t seeing red.
He’s never done anything like that since (or before the incident, really) so I’m over it but damn if I wasn’t seeing red.