Reply to How can I get DW to work more?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here.  DW works privately now and makes a good hourly rate, just doesn't work nearly enough hours.  She either needs to find more clients or get a job working for someone where the hourly rate is less but she works more hours and sees a higher annual income.  And to the PP saying get a higher paying job, even if I did make more, out of principle I believe DW should be working more now that kids are gone from 745-315 every day.  That was what we always said before kids.  To each their own, but I personally don't respect people as much if they aren't contributing, either by working or being s SAH parent to young children.[/quote]

She is contributing.  She's probably doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, most of the kids stuff like doctors, activities, and much more.  Its sad you don't appreciate her.  And, she is working and pulling in money.  If she works full time are you going to do all the things she is doing from 7:45-315 - doubtful.[/quote]

Who does all the planning? Who goes grocery shopping and plans the meals? Who takes the initiative to do things like sign the kids up for activities, make doctor's appointments, buy clothes that fit, schedules haircuts, buys birthday presents, pays PTA dues, schedule piano lessons, hires the lawn guy, hires the cleaners, hires the sitters, etc? Do you have the kids' dentists, pediatrician, teachers', school front desk, and kids' friends' parents numbers on your phone? Do you know who to call for emergency carpools? Do you know what size shoes your kids wear?

If you are truly 50-50, then you should be doing all of the above 50-50. Not just carrying out requests, but actively taking the initiative and managing your children's lives. Once you are there, you can ask your wife to up her hours to FT.[/quote]

Frankly I just don't get this argument. I have 3 kids and do all this while working FT. OP indicated finances are strained, he wants DW to bring in more $. You can still do all the planning and scheduling and appointments while working FT, I do, as do so many others. Doesn't require a SAHP.[/quote]

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