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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wanted to chime on on the "WHY DID SHE NOT JUST CHOOSE ADOPTION?" issue.

I had an abortion last year after my birth control failed (I was using it correctly, before you ask). I considered all my options. I considered continuing the pregnancy and raising the child, but financially, it would have been next to impossible. I considered continuing the pregnancy and putting the child up for adoption, but my assessment was that that would have been confusing and difficult for my daughter. Ultimately, I decided to terminate the pregnancy.

I wanted to say that specifically with regard to the adoption issue, it is not as easy as "just have the baby and put the baby up for adoption". My daughter is 4. She would have had a really hard time understanding why I was pregnant and then she didn't get a younger sibling. Pregnancy is also a physical event for the woman in question. It is not always easy, and those physical issues have ramifications on family life. When I was pregnant with DD, I was exhausted all the time for about 28 weeks. After she was born, it took me several weeks to recover physically from birth. I am trying to speak purely to the physical aspects that affect other people than me, because all to often I hear women who do not want to experience pregnancy and birth condemned as selfish for that desire.

Financially, a $400 abortion was cheaper than the $700 deductible I would have needed to pay to have the baby, or the numerous $20 office visit copays, or the rhogam shots, or anything else. If that had been the only issue, I would have figured out a way to make it work, but it wasn't.

I have observed that sometimes adoptive families think it's as easy as just deciding not to abort and then living life as usual for the next however many months. I had a relatively easy pregnancy the first time, but it was not without consequence to my life at that time either. [/quote]

That's depressing.  You had an abortion because it was about $500 cheaper than the abortion?  Why not get your tubes tied if you absolutely can't stand the physical part of the pregnancy?  I just can't understand why intelligent,  educated women who do not want to get pregnant do in fact get pregnant.  [/quote]

No, I had an abortion because being pregnant is not the difficulty-free experience that some potential adoptive families make it out to be. Note that I say "SOME" and not "ALL", because I know adoptive families who are in no way that naive. I had an abortion because I didn't want to be pregnant. I had previously taken measures to avoid ending up in that position at all, and those measures, despite being used correctly every time, failed one month.

I understand from the frustrating experiences my friends have had with the adoption process that it is hard to see women terminating pregnancies. I understand that people who desperately want a child themselves, who have been willing to go through medical hardship and financial hardship to have a child, may have a hard time understanding why another person would not be willing to make those choices.

The bottom line is that you do not get to choose for me. You do not get to force me to bear and birth a child so that you can have one. You are free to feel about me however you wish. Frankly, since I do not know you and you do not know me and neither one of us know anything other than what has been posted here, I don't really care what you think of me. I am comfortable with my decision, but I would NEVER force a woman to terminate a pregnancy she wanted to continue. I would also never force a woman to continue a pregnancy she wanted to terminate. That's what "pro-choice" means. [/quote]

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