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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Really?  
I’m not the person who said that my husband would scream at me, but I did say there would be conflict.

I posted earlier with an example that if my kid asked me if they could have ketchup at dinner, I would tell them they could and expect them to get it themselves.  But if my mom asked for ketchup with dinner, I would get up and get it for her.  It’s a power thing. I am above my kid and below my mom.

Now, if my kid just sat there and said, “Why can’t you get the ketchup?  You did it for grandma,” there would be conflict.  It wouldn’t be screaming, and it might even just be a “look,” but it would be known that my kid needs to get his own ketchup.

This is the kind of conflict I’m talking about.  [b]If I don’t want do something, I can ask him to do it, and he can say “yes” or “no.”[/b]  But if I just drop the ball, it’s generally felt that I f’ed up.  And it’s mostly non-verbal.

This idea that if he sees me not making Christmas dinner, he will know that he should make it, is just ridiculous.  It won’t get made, and he will be pissed.  [/quote]

This is preferable to dropping the ball. And if he is saying "no" and you are saying "no", bring food in. If your spouse is like OPs, he'll pick it up if asked.[/quote]

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