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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We met and married later in life (me late 30s, him about 50). Thirteen years later, we are divorcing. We have one child, in elementary school. We want to do this without lawyers. There are no disagreements about dividing property, but he is afraid I'm going to take him to the cleaners, which I don't intend to do. Still, I am not sure what is a fair division of our money. He doesn't think I'm entitled to any of his retirement funds, since he had already saved a lot of it (probably most) before we met. He is mid-60s, self-employed, has variable income (not much lately), and no inheritance coming. I am 50, stopped working 18 months ago to care for family, and do expect some inheritance eventually (not f$#%-you money, but maybe around $2M).

Here is what we have:

$670K non-retirement funds between us ($40K mine, $400K his, $230K in a joint account)
About $1.5M retirement funds between us ($285K mine, $1.2M his)

The money conversation is already contentious, because of his fear of losing what he worked for before we met, but he told me to "tell him what I want" as a starting point. I don't even know where to begin. [/quote]

Take what’s yours and take the joint account. You will be comfortable. He can leave everything else to his kid. [/quote]

It's very questionable whether he would leave OP's rightful share in assets to their kids. It' more likely to end up in end of life care facility and spent down. OP should take 50% of the marital share of all accounts which is what she's eligible for  by law, period.

OP: don't listen to people here who say only tell your accounts. Hire a CPA and an actuary =they'll calculate the exact marital share of his retirement account and you will be eligible to A LOT of money (in my opinion, likely $800K is joint in his account due to stock market appreciation in 13 years). You absolutely should not be giving up on half a million in your STBX favor. He is already ahead of you financially as he's eligible for social security and you won't be for 12 years. [/quote]

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