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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Quick update: I have a long list of attorneys from my friends for Monday morning and a safety plan for my child just in case. Am telling close friends and family the facts for safety. Have most documents in hand now but some are missing. Have contacted financial advisor and informed him of the situation in case DH has not and have told him that I will be in touch as soon as I have an attorney and in meantime to freeze all transactions on our accounts. Nothing should be happening without dual authorization but wanted to make sure it was in writing. Contacting tax guy on Monday to see if he can chase down a few missing forms.[/quote]

Good for you OP.

Why does your son need a safety plan? I didn’t see child abuse in your posts?

Wishing you and your son the best, you will get through this. [/quote]

Any woman leaving any man should have a safety plan in place for herself and her children. Sometimes the first episode of physical violence occurs when the emotionally abusive partner is faced with the end of the relationship and more importantly, a loss of control. In my years as a DV advocate and later prosecutor, I saw too many cases where men who were losing their families - even if they initiated the relationship disruption to begin with - ended up losing their sh*t and hurting or killing their kids/partners. If the husband already has a significant mental illness issue, it's even more important to have a safety plan in mind - do whatever you can to protect yourself in the leaving process.[/quote]

OP and I won’t put my safety plan here but when I woke up that first morning. I don’t know if you are the person who’s posted about them over the past 6 months here on DCUM but someone or multiple people keep mentioning it in threads and I woke up in the middle of the night and remembered that.

At first I felt embarrassed and like I was overreacting when I explained my situation and ask friends and neighbors  to help with it but their reaction was generous and supportive. I will say that in the last 72 hours STBX has become quite volatile and I am glad to have rehearsed the plan with DS while assuring them that it is something that we will probably never need. I hope. It’s crazy to contemplate the person intiating the divorce being mad about it, but rather than relieving whatever pent-up emotions STBX had, it seemed to have ignited them.

Attorney consults start tomorrow. Lots of tears but a lot of fun these past few days, too. We’re surviving. Thank you PPs on this thread who got me through the worst 48 hours of my life so far. I mean it sincerely.[/quote]

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