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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][

There’s a lot of noise in this thread, but the bottom line is, try not to raise kids who would uninvite someone at the last minute and then go trick-or-treating at that kid’s house. Just try not to raise little a**holes. [/quote]

OP here

I appreciate this...not sure how everything devolved so fast lol. I guess I'm wondering how to advise DS about the next school morning when they will meet at the corner to walk to school in this group? Assuming say nothing and move on, right?

I can't help but wish he had said something when he was disinvited in the first place - nothing mean but more just why? Or really? or something. He said nothing at the time.

[b]He's generally a very outgoing/active kid [/b]and I think it really took him by surprise. [/quote]

Maybe this is the problem. Maybe he's annoying. Too loud, interrupts too much, commandeers conversations, is too hyper, touches too much - some of those?[/quote]

It is a hard truth, and even harder to admit because I was picked on / excluded in middle school, but a lot of times part of the issue is the excluded kid is difficult to deal with.

Not always but often.  And sometimes social patterns develop in elementary school and the kid matures but then has to deal with a built in reputation and it can take years to undo that and often involves new kids or a new school.

I remember in junior year kids I went to middle school saying, “wow you are like a totally different person now.”  Yes and no.  Anyways it is what it is, you aren’t going to change the dynamics of the world by complaining about it, just focus on helping your kid navigate it.

Years later I found my mom to be a pain to deal with and realized why I was slow on the developmental curve.  That and being top of class in grades but young, short and a little socially oblivious for grade made it all hard.

I won’t use the term mature or immature here because some of the popular middle schoolers are absolutely awful and the opposite of mature.  But they are, objectively, more socially adept than the kids that struggle with making friends.[/quote]

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