Reply to Daughter married a doctor, he’s pressuring her to pay off his student debt

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Didn't read the entire thread. Is it possible that OP is doing a lot of assuming here? Or adding emotion where there is none?

For the daughter, [b]this should have been discussed before marriage.[/b][/quote]

This has been posted fifty times. How was this supposed to be discussed before marriage? Not in some advice column, in real life. "Hey babe, I know you're debt free, but just so we're on the same page, once we get married, make sure you keep rising the corporate ladder because I'm going to need you to pay down my $400,000 (or whatever sum it is) loans I racked up before we met." How romantic. :roll:[/quote]

No, SHE should’ve been asking the questions. “This is my debt, these are my finances. What kind of debt do you have?” Then decisions could have been made on How/when to pay this, should marriage be postponed, is it a deal breaker?

And no one person is paying the debt, “they” are. Less money is coming into the household, whether it’s coming out of his check or hers. 
[/quote]

Now it's the debt free person's fault, not the indebted physician with expensive taste? And we're in la la land where a male doctor would reveal his unmasculine masterplan to pressure his debt free new wife to pay off his loans after they wed. If he asked her parents to marry their daughter, he should've disclosed to them his plan was to get their successful debt free daughter to pay off his loans. All cards on the table, right.[/quote]

Her parents would never have been part of the discussion. Unless there was a dowry and who does that anymore? Presumably she was not her father’s property and entered into this marriage on her own free will.[/quote]

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