Reply to We keep arguing about work and home responsibilities because we're both overwhelmed.

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Reply to "We keep arguing about work and home responsibilities because we're both overwhelmed."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It gets better as they get older. Can you afford extra help in the mornings or afternoons? I served very simple meals when the kids were little and joined a carpool when they hit elementary. [/quote]

NP. Disagree. It is much harder when they start doing extracurricular activities.[/quote]

Then you need have to limit them to accommodate your household if you can't afford help. [/quote]

No. If you want a kid to excel at anything, there is a significant time commitment. Even 1 activity can eat up several evenings/weekenfs. If there is more than one kid, even a once a week activity is now at least on two days a week [/quote]

And that's why there are so many divorces. [/quote]

This has nothing to do with divorce. 
My parents are married. 
I am divorced. We do this married or divorced. It literally does not matter. Busy 5-7 days week except summer. It is the way it is. [/quote]

I'd cut back on the extracurriculars before threatening my spouse with divorce. [/quote]

What are you talking about? This is nothing to do with divorce. Parenting is harder after kindergarten. Period. The same routine is going to happen no matter the marital status. This had nothing to do with divorcing. [/quote]

The comment was made in response to an earlier one that Op should threaten divorce if her DH doesn’t do more. [/quote]

NP in kind of a similar situation to OP.  
I see a lot of comments to get your spouse to do more.  But if you know that you aren’t going to leave over it, then how do you get him to do more?

I mean, OP has asked.  They’ve gone to couples counseling about it.  He is definitely aware that she wants him to help more.  How do you go from letting your spouse know that you need help to actually getting him to help?

[/quote]

For me it was lots of yelling fights, and also leaving the house certain mornings before he was up. I would tell him "I am going to work at 6 am on X day, so you are responsible for the morning routine and dropoff". Don't ask, tell him. Yes, it will cause a fight, but there is no other way to get through this kind of intentional selfishness.[/quote]

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