Reply to This is weaponized incompetence, yes? What to do about it?

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Reply to "This is weaponized incompetence, yes? What to do about it?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Like 90% of the comments on this thread are "well it must be your fault, you must criticize him too much."

Bull$hit.

When I got married, my DH used to criticize stuff all the time. He's a great cook and he'd nitpick my cooking constantly, hover over me in the kitchen on the nights I cooked, etc. Did I suddenly claim I didn't know how to cook? No, because I'm not a 7 year old child. I told him "When you cook, do it your way. When I cook, I do it my way. I do not like you hovering over me and correcting me, so stop." And he did.

So if a woman is criticizing how her spouse is doing something, there is no reason he can't say "hey, you are being too critical -- let me do it my way." In fact my DH also says this to me sometimes about housekeeping and parenting, and when he does I lay off. We are both adults so we act like it. Neither of us is perfect.

A man who just stops doing basic stuff or feigns total incompetence at simple things like vacuuming or feeding your kid is LOOKING for an out. You could provide no feedback at all and he'd claim you were being too critical. He just doesn't want to do it.

And based on the replies in this thread, a lot of people buy into a dynamic where he shouldn't have to, [b]because apparently in order for a man to do basic household and parenting tasks, his wife must invite him to do it in the perfect way, with the perfect tone of voice, and encourage him and never criticize in the most supportive way. [/b]Yes I call BS. If my DH was feeding our kid cereal for dinner even though there are is perfectly good food in the house and she has nutritional deficiencies, you bet I'm going to say "What is this? She needs to eat something else. At least give her some fruit and a spoonful of peanut butter to go with this." Because duh. I don't need to dance around his sensitive baby feelings. He's in his 40s and is a parent. He can handle a little feedback from his parenting partner, especially when he's phoning it in in a way that is actually undermining something important.

Good lord the prancing around the masculine ego around here. Get over it.[/quote]

My DH does a lot at home but reacts the way of the bolded for any criticism.  I don’t think you can change their reaction.

[/quote]

Gold child syndrome

They can do no wrong, per their Mommy decades ago

How dare you make a comment or suggestion or criticism or concern[/quote]

I find it ironic how many people are criticizing men’s incompetence by… blaming their mothers.

Always a woman’s fault, amirite?[/quote]

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