Reply to DD's teacher has a "cry board" in her classroom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

First, DD was hospitalized on Memorial Day and out of school that entire week and the beginning of the next.  She went back on June 6th.  The last day of school was June 15th, but they didn't have every class every day the last week of school because of final exams.  There wasn't exactly a ton of time for her to catch up on her school work for all her classes.  She really tried and spent as much time as she could doing make up work. And sorry, but making up her work in core classes is more important than the work in a stinking elective.  BTW - this class is not just taking pictures, every lengthy project has tons of writing - and my daughter has a reading and writing disability that takes her 3-4 times longer to complete the work.  She has an IEP with accommodations for a reduced workload, among other things.  She was in frequent contact with her teacher and her teacher knew she was trying to complete the work.  She told her being in the hospital "was no excuse" for not completing her work. Look, if she has to take an F, she has to take the F.  But I feel like the teacher should have giving DD the opportunity to get an incomplete and have some more time.  It's not like this was missed work from early in the quarter that she sat on.

[b]The "cry board".  Apparently I didn't explain this good enough.  When she yells at students and they get upset, they are told to go cry in the class storage room and then put a hash mark on the "Storage Room Tears" board.  Of course I have seen the video.  BTW,- there are 39 hash marks on that board.  This is not meant to be a "safe space".  This is a shaming tool.[/b]

I mentioned the cry board/closet tears/storage room tears board because I was struggling to determine whether that was something I should talk about with the school, when my primary concern is my daughter's grade and being able to make up the work.  In my mind, these are two separate issues with the teacher.  I absolutely am not going to go to social media or the real media with this.  To me, that's not constructive and I am not someone who wants a witch hunt when the teacher hasn't had an opportunity to directly address it.

I have asked for a meeting with the principal and am waiting for his response.  Thank you to all the PP's who provided advice.  It was enlightening and constructive to hear the multiple viewpoints.  [/quote]

A shaming tool indeed!  I cannot believe in 2023 this is happening!
[/quote]

[b][b]It's not a shaming tool. It is a teacher trying to be sensitive to students who are stressed out.[/b] Teachers can't win. If there were not a safe space people complain there should be. Teacher creates a safe space and encourages a student to use it there are also complaints. The teacher doesn't have the students write down their names, just make a mark so she or he can tell if the space is needed. By having so many hash marks students who might be reluctant realize 37 times other kids needed a break and a safe space to cry or just get away. [/b]

I think OP has a valid case to discuss her daughter getting incomplete grades instead of fails in classes where she had no time to make up the work. I am so sorry OP this is happening to you. My son was in a clinical trial in 9th grade and had 30 medical visits over the course of a year., some of which lasted 5-6 hours.  Sometimes he would get a reaction and then sleep the whole afternoon and evening so it was hard for him to make up work.

One b---ch of a teacher gave him an F on a draft paper- even though he turned it in a day late after he missed a day of school. Why? Because they peer edited the papers in class and his paper wasn't peer edited. He talked to her first and she said yup, no peer edits on your paper and you get an F. I called his counselor who was surprised but must know the teacher is difficult so she told me to email the teacher before addressing it with admin. I emailed the teacher and she said my son had to find a student to edit his paper before he could turn it in and according to her lots of students would jump at the chance to spend 20-30 minute in their spare time to edit his paper so it shouldn't be a problem. My son felt awful making another student do extra work because he was absent so wasn't willing to ask a friend to do it. I ended up asking a friend if her daughter who was in his class would do it and I would pay her. Some teachers are just so mean. [/quote]

From the OP’s posts, do you think her DD was happy or upset that the teacher told her to put a mark on the closet tears board? I get the feeling the student did not consider this a safe space. I don’t get the feeling the teacher “encouraged” her.

A couple of my kid’s teachers [b]make a safe space available to students[/b] who are having a hard time so I know what this looks like.  This is not what this teacher is doing.

[/quote]

This is the key -- safe spaces are by choice.  Some people prefer some alone time to compose themselves.  It is a choice the teacher may offer, it is not a choice the teacher may mandate. OP described mandated closet time.   Mandated time in an alone space is de facto disability discrimination -- you are removing the child from the classroom (& therefore the opportunity to learn) for behavior that is driven by disability.  It is a denial of FAPE and quite serious if not rectified by the school.  It is also a violation of educational privacy -- assuming the best of the teacher, the teacher believes she is offering an accommodation, but it is forced and it is in front of all peers and the reasoning for it is obvious to all peers.  Thus all peers know about the accommodation. In addition to being illegal and discriminatory, this practice is quite unsafe when it is done outside of the view of a teacher -- you have no idea what a student might do when unsupervised -- cutting, suicide attempts or other self-harm is a real possibility.

What a teacher/school can do is *offer* time alone and the best practice way to do that is to offer a "flash pass" to the nurse's office.  These flash passes can be used by students at any time without saying anything to the teacher.  The student simply quietly gathers their things and uses the pass to go the nurse where they can have some quite space which is supervised.  This is a common accommodation for many types of disabilities -- could be a diabetic feeling low sugar, or a concussed student feeling overwhelmed, an anxious student having a panic attack, or a student feeling some kind of medication side effect like nausea or it could simply be a student that has an excuse note to leave school early for a valid reason.  This form of accommodation is much more private - peers don't know why the student is leaving and whether the reason is linked to negative behavior or disability.

In addition, a mandated "cry closet" reinforces exactly the opposite of what is psychologically healthy -- we all cry, it is normal to cry, some of us cry more easily than others. A teacher who sends a student to the cry closet is actually sending the message -- you are inappropriately showing emotion and you will be excluded until you gain control.  This contributes to worsening mental health not improved mental health.   It impacts ALL students -- not just the student sent to the closet.  It tells ALL students that they may be excluded from the classroom if they show sadness.

I want to add to this that there is a LONG history of isolation being used in schools to punish or discipline students with behavioral or mental health or other disability issues.  The use of a isolation in a "closet" mirrors a long history of abuse of students in public schools.

It may be something that is happening in the popular culture. It may be something done without bad or discriminatory intent.  But, that doesn't make it non-discriminatory or legal.

Finally, there is a reason that accommodations are decided by educational teams -- because teachers are by and large not well-educated in disability and disability accommodation.  If a teacher proposed this kind of accommodation to a 504 team, I'm pretty sure someone on the team would shoot it down for the reasons I've stated above.  Also, if a student needs this accommodation in one class, then someone should be asking whether they need it in all classes, and if not what is driving the need for a cry closet in just one class.

OP, if the teacher, principal or team express that the cry closet is OK, please describe the cry closet formally in writing, state that you do not agree that the practice is non-discriminatory nor is it supportive of mental health and you do not consent to this kind of accommodation being offered to your student and that instead you would like her to have a flash pass to the nurse.   Send the email to the head of the 504 team, to the principal and copy it to the assistant superintendent for special education. [/quote]

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