Reply to What percentage of men cheat?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "What percentage of men cheat?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am curious why sexual monogamy seems to be the be all and end all of what people think of as marital commitment.  Let's say your spouse - DW or DH - did all the right things:  took care of you when sick, put a roof over your and the kids head, food on the table, was otherwise caring and loving and a good parent and then.... you found out they had a one night stand on a business trip. Would thatmake you want to blow up your whole world and that of your kids?  Marraige is very very complicated. [/quote]

I agree with this. I have never cheated nor had my spouse to my knowledge. But I think we as a society attach such monumental importance to strict, perfect fidelity over many decades, which is just kind of silly when you think about it in the context of our animal nature, changing emotional, physical, and intellectual needs over time. It’s almost like we use the concept of fidelity as a measure of our safety in the relationship and financially. I’m just opining here. I think there are other ways of doing life and relationships that perhaps more people are starting to think about. [/quote]

Many people agree with you. I assume a lot of the people so outraged by cheating are younger and idealistic. I am nearing 50. Call me jaded, but when I look around at the actual marriages that are still going (there are many of them!), a lot of them are sexless, or the passion is gone. Even the stats about married people age 50+ show that most aren't having sex that often and many are down to once a month or less.

Do you throw it all away for one last chance at experiencing life's greatest joys? Or just bottle that stuff inside and let the resentment grow?

Regardless of the moralizing, our animal instincts often win out.[/quote]

You have zero idea what’s happening in any marriage.  At 50, I haven’t changed my stance when I have seen the after effects on friends, they’re kids, teens and family members when infidelity implodes a family. I’ve sat with friends blind-sided and these were “couples goal” type of marriages where I knew both well for decades.

The reality of it is much different than theory.  Unless you have lived it, you have no idea.[/quote]

Oh, and the cheaters?  They were shocked and reeling when they saw what it did to everyone they cared about the most.  When they think nobody is going to ever find out they severely underestimate the trauma of the situation as it is discovered.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics