Reply to Why are people here so averse to pushing their kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]From your post, OP, it sounds like you have one dc? If so, and I am not being unkind, but your sample of one is really hard to use as a claim that pushing works.

I have two dc and they are so different! Same with friends and family. As an older parent, I will say that what we think is our parenting ( short of abuse, neglect, etc) is nature so don’t take all the credit😀 Most of what kids do and or become is nature.

One dc you push might fight, withdraw, do drugs, suicide. Another may comply and you think it’s your parenting.

Observe their strengths, recognize weaknesses.  model and show respect, relay importance of them to meet obligations/ commitments, require home keeping and family support starting with small tasks, and provide empathy and leeway when they faulter.

This idea of must get As, must take most rigorous only works if child is capable and wants it. It is not you. Also remember life is long!

One example, one dc truly musically gifted. They asked for lessons and thrived. At some point in early teen years we fought about practice time, teacher disappointed as wanted more. However, I knew that dc just loved music and their adult self would be so happy that they could play their instrument. So I let perfection go, I told teacher to let  their talent go ( as they did not want it for performance) and accepted less than what was required for practice.

Fast forward to dc22 yr old self who relaxes by playing instrument. [b]If we had pushed, they would have stopped at 14 and the previous ten years would have been wasted.[/b]

Lastly, my parents modeled hard work but never pushed. I pushed myself and turned out great😀[/quote]

you don't know this.[/quote]

I think PP has about a 95% chance of being correct, and correct or not, there was the additional risk of a rupture in the relationship. Being constantly told you have to give more and more and more because you have talent, when you are perfectly content where you are, doesn't really endear you to your parent. [/quote]

"give more and more" - of what? watching tik Tok? making pouting selfies?[/quote]

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