Reply to Can cheating be justified?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Can cheating be justified?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm not ok with the person I believe I am in a monogamous sexual relationship with starting to sleep with another person or people without my knowledge.[b] I have a right to control how much risk I want to expose myself to sexually[/b], and no intelligent person would assume that someone who cares more about his own sexual gratification than the health and welfare of his spouse should be trusted to make good decisions.

Add to that the fact that the affair partner also has questionable morals, and seriously....  do the two cheaters really believe that they only lie to their respective spouses, never each other?  Please.

I say this as a divorced female who caught her husband cheating after going in to the gyn for treatment of what I assumed was a terrible yeast infection, only to learn it was chlamydia. I don't know if the ex got it from his secretary or if there were others, but yeah.

Also.... clearly we weren't in a sexless marriage since he gave me the STD he picked up from who knows where.

[/quote]

I agree with the bold.  I have a right to negotiate how much sexual risk I want to take on - what kind of birth control I use, what kind of STI protection we will use, and degree of monogamy.  Just like stealthing is a violation of the mutually negotiated exposure to pregnancy and STI  risk, infidelity is a form of stealth with respect to mutually negotiated STI risk.

It was a huge betrayal to find out that my husband had been sleeping with prostitutes while I was in my 6th month of pregnancy with our first child, had an oral herpes outbreak after engaging with prostitutes, had been prescribed medication for it but continued to sleep with me without disclosing the monogamy violations.  Thankfully, I didn’t get herpes, but the whole thing was a huge betrayal trauma because a close friend lost a baby in the 8th month due to anencephaly caused by herpes.

It is my right to control under what circumstances others can access my body sexually.  Someone who cheats is asserting their right to make those decisions for me.  Totally unacceptable under any circumstances. [/quote]

Omg, I am so sorry for what your husband put you through during your pregnancy.  Jus can’t believe that he didn’t think about the potential impact to you and the baby.  Are you still with him since you mention my husband in your post?  How are you able to reconcile staying with him?[/quote]

haha. crying lol.  are there 2 of them?  Of course, I did not stay with that lying jerk.  And I have full custody of kids. But it is still sad for all of us. I am tied to him until the kids no longer need $$$ support, and they are tied to him for life thru parent/child relationship.  He is a shitty father but not quite as shitty as he was as a husband - which isn’t saying much. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics