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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"And, actually, please also realize: we are going to start looking down on you a little bit, because we thought you were doing it all on your own, like we are, and yet we realize you are actually just a little bit soft, weaker than we thought. Spoiled. Babied. Helped."

NP here.  I am not going to lie.  I definitely feel this way when I realize how much parental and IL help some adults - adults with their own families - have.  It seems kind of pathetic to me that they can't provide for their own family. [/quote]

This is how I feel too.  When is one really a grown-up, then, in this type of arrangement?  [/quote]

NP here. I’m an only child. My parents came from nothing and managed to build wealth for themselves. I don’t have a trust fund, second home, or anything like that. But my parents are getting older and realize they can’t take their money with them. So they gave us money for a down payment that was the difference between a longer commute vs. a short commute. They are funding most of their grandchildren’s college funds. They invite us on and pay for vacations.

What am I supposed to do? Insist that I don’t want their money? Should I disclaim my inheritance someday? Should I similarly not offer help to my children so they can grit it out — they better drown themselves in student loan debt so some anonymous Internet poster doesn’t call them pathetic?

Your post calling people pathetic and saying they aren’t grownups if they accept family financial help just reeks of jealousy. I get feeling like the cards are stacked against you when others have this type of help and FWIW I support things like free (or low cost) college, wage increase, affordable childcare, etc. because I appreciate that education and childcare are major expenses for people that can set them back even when they work hard.

And FWIW DH and I both make six figures and can provide for our family on our own. And we live in an area where we are nowhere even close to the wealthiest, but I don’t spend my time fretting over the fact that so and so can afford 40k/ year private schools for their kids, or a vacation home, etc. I also don’t bother judging them regardless of where they get their money. Life is too short to carry this rage around. [/quote]

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