Reply to S/O Has demanding sex ever actually worked for anyone?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]These comments are sad. A lot of women don’t know what we want sexually because we are conditioned from young ages to prioritize the man’s satisfaction. Our general definition of sex is basically a man having an O. We don’t focus a lot on our own pleasure and are often quite detached from it, especially if we grew up in a culture that wasn’t sex-positive for girls. I think if we could just learn, without shame, more about our own bodies and what kinds of situations are best for our pleasure, it would be better for marriages but more importantly for us. [/quote]

I definitely think women don't know what they want sexually, should focus on that, and should communicate what they want. I'm not sure I agree that women are conditioned to prioritize what men want sexually. I'm a data point of one, but I don't know that I've ever experienced a woman being all that focused on my sexual satisfaction. I think a lot of men have the same experience as me. I think women are shamed and taught to be reticent about sex, so they really aren't prioritizing anyone's sexual satisfaction -- his or hers. [/quote]

What do you mean by “all that focused” on your sexual satisfaction? Do they think about sex as an activity that always involves  *your* orgasm? If so, how is that not focusing on your sexual satisfaction?

Also, maybe you have had bad luck, but maybe you could consider trying to be a better sexual partner. I feel like for most women, maybe even for most people, enthusiasm is contagious.

But still, if sex for your partner always includes your orgasm, that is a focus on your sexual satisfaction. [/quote]

I mean that in most of my sexual encounters, I've been the active one - focused on my pleasure and hers. The women have been fairly passive. They seemed to enjoy what I was doing to them, but they tended not to be taking much initiative for either their pleasure or mine. [/quote]

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