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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Totally this. One of my SILs could’ve easily been OP posting about me about 10yrs ago. The truth? DH doesn’t like spending time with his parents and sister and fees smothered and henpecked.[/quote]

LOL me too! I actually like my SIL and MIL now but when we were first married and I had a newborn they were nightmares. They both drive DH up the wall. He prefers not to try not to engage rather than confront them so they peck, peck, pecked. I could not deal with it when I had a complicated pregnancy so once when they were visiting I told them enough. They were insisting on something stupid to redecorate our new house, were insisting the DRs always are overly cautious so me going off bedrest for a few hours to shop with them would be fine etc etc. I'm not non confrontational like DH so I just told them to shove it and that they were free to leave early.

We both declined to travel with them and kept visits short. I was always polite but did not allow any boundary pushing. MIL -who doesn't believe in seat belts wanted to take 3 ear DD out with her? Answer was no. Not going to discuss it. Answer will and was always no. SIL wants everyone to wear matching jammies and wait until noon to come out of the bedroom so all the cousins can discover Santa together but she can sleep in and have breakfast at the hotel -hell no. Come whenever you want but we're leaving the bedroom when the kids wake up.

SIL has calmed down from wanting to be the SAHM symbol of perfection, hostess with the mostest and all around advice giver.  Now that her kids are grown, she is much more chill and doesn't expect to be in everyone's business. MIL started her own small business and is always busy and happy with it so she isn't as pushy or at least she spends less time fixated on pushing DH to do something stupid.

OP - my advice to you is to drop your expectation that you have some special obligatory role in their lives. You don't. If you are cool and enjoyable to be around then you'll get a good relationship. If you are a boundary pushing person full of expectations then you'll be kept at arms length-as you should be. The choice is yours. [/quote]

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