Reply to S/O Why do you care if moms stay home?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a wohm. I admit that it’s a constant struggle between wanting to spend time with kids but also working. I want both! I spent so many years in school and am excited about my career. I also love my kids! I look for flexible jobs that will allow me to be home early to pick them up from preschool. 
[b]
I sometimes feel guilty when sahms say, “i want to be there for my kids,” “family first,” “i could never send them to daycare/nanny,” “can’t trust anyone,” etc.[/b]

At work, I feel bad for having to draw the line and say I can’t do certain things bc of my kids.

It would be amazing if the sahms and wohms, non parents - EVERYONE- understood that raising good kids is a benefit to society. If that means wohms who have more flexible schedules offer other wohms to carpool more or sahms offer to help the wahms bc they have more time, that would be great! Employers understanding that parents (not just moms) need flexibility is amaing. We need everyone to help each other and not just focus on our nuclear family. If we did this, society would be so mich better off[/quote]

I don't.  Seriously, I don't care what you do, but the minute a woman says something suggesting that women who work don't love their kids as much, I write them off as a piece of shit.  Seriously.  I don't care what you do, but insinuating that other mothers don't love their kids makes you a garbage person.  Period.  It's worse, IMO, than thinking that women who stay at home are lazy or whatever.

Do whatever you want--work, don't--but keep your sanctimonious self-justification to yourself.  [/quote]

I am a SAHM who could never put my infant in daycare, but I don’t think that mean I love my kids more than someone who has no problem putting their child in daycare. I see that most daycare families are happy and healthy. I would never say unprompted to a WOHM that I couldn’t put my baby in daycare, but if you really really pressed me for the truth, then that’s what it would be. I sort of liken it to open marriages - like I have friends with open marriages and they seem very happy, abd I’m happy for them, but I could never do it. Anyway, I think this is why it’s best to just not talk about reasons for staying home or working - just get the information and move on to another topic.[/quote]

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