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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why can't men just accept that romantic relationships change over time? So what started out as a high degree of physical desire has quietly mutated into a relationship of deep security, comfort, trust, mutual respect, love, affection, and, yes, less sex.

Seriously, everything else in life changes over time. What stays exactly the same over a 20 year time span or more?[/quote]

Men aren't always the higher libido partner.  Higher libido women are a minority, but not a particularly small one if we go by who posts on forums about this stuff.

Obviously, I can't speak for all men, but I think many men do understand that these things change.  I don't think most expect the same frequency or intensity as when the relationship was new.  But, speaking for myself, it's hard for me to feel that sense of deep security, trust, mutual respect, love, and affection if my partner is avoiding physical intimacy with me.  There's this assumption that men don't recognize that their behavior may have contributed to the lack of intimacy.  That isn't my experience at all.  I'm hyper-aware of that possibility.  That I've screwed something up to the point that my partner no longer trusts or values me.  That's what makes it hard.  [/quote]

Quoted PP here.

how often do you have sex? Just curious. It's hard for me to wrap my brain around this without specifics. [/quote]

It's currently quite literally a sexless marriage.  It's been almost a year and it's been several years since we were outside that quasi-clinical definition of fewer than 10 times a year.  We're in counseling.  We want to fix it.  But I'm not sure we know how to fix it.  As you might expect, it's done a number on both of us.  [/quote]

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