Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I wanted to mention something you men may not have thought of. I honestly only want to have sex once a week and here's why. I've found that my orgasms are WAY more intense the longer I go in between. On a once a week basis, they are toe curling/back arching/practically medicinal in how they improve my mood and release stress.

But they get less intense the more frequently they occur. So I feel that paradoxically, the sex is way better the less frequently it occurs. You can go too far in the opposite direction too though. Less than once a week and sometimes it can feel awkward. Once a week is the perfect amount.

Your wives may have found the same. Just something to think about.

In other words, it's your world and we're just living in it.

Well you don't really think husbands should be pressuring their wives into sex they don't want, do you?

What would we call a boyfriend who does that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I wanted to mention something you men may not have thought of. I honestly only want to have sex once a week and here's why. I've found that my orgasms are WAY more intense the longer I go in between. On a once a week basis, they are toe curling/back arching/practically medicinal in how they improve my mood and release stress.

But they get less intense the more frequently they occur. So I feel that paradoxically, the sex is way better the less frequently it occurs. You can go too far in the opposite direction too though. Less than once a week and sometimes it can feel awkward. Once a week is the perfect amount.

Your wives may have found the same. Just something to think about.

In other words, it's your world and we're just living in it.

Well you don't really think husbands should be pressuring their wives into sex they don't want, do you?

What would we call a boyfriend who does that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I wanted to mention something you men may not have thought of. I honestly only want to have sex once a week and here's why. I've found that my orgasms are WAY more intense the longer I go in between. On a once a week basis, they are toe curling/back arching/practically medicinal in how they improve my mood and release stress.

But they get less intense the more frequently they occur. So I feel that paradoxically, the sex is way better the less frequently it occurs. You can go too far in the opposite direction too though. Less than once a week and sometimes it can feel awkward. Once a week is the perfect amount.

Your wives may have found the same. Just something to think about.

In other words, it's your world and we're just living in it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't men just accept that romantic relationships change over time? So what started out as a high degree of physical desire has quietly mutated into a relationship of deep security, comfort, trust, mutual respect, love, affection, and, yes, less sex.

Seriously, everything else in life changes over time. What stays exactly the same over a 20 year time span or more?

Men aren't always the higher libido partner. Higher libido women are a minority, but not a particularly small one if we go by who posts on forums about this stuff.

Obviously, I can't speak for all men, but I think many men do understand that these things change. I don't think most expect the same frequency or intensity as when the relationship was new. But, speaking for myself, it's hard for me to feel that sense of deep security, trust, mutual respect, love, and affection if my partner is avoiding physical intimacy with me. There's this assumption that men don't recognize that their behavior may have contributed to the lack of intimacy. That isn't my experience at all. I'm hyper-aware of that possibility. That I've screwed something up to the point that my partner no longer trusts or values me. That's what makes it hard.

Quoted PP here.

how often do you have sex? Just curious. It's hard for me to wrap my brain around this without specifics.

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I wanted to mention something you men may not have thought of. I honestly only want to have sex once a week and here's why. I've found that my orgasms are WAY more intense the longer I go in between. On a once a week basis, they are toe curling/back arching/practically medicinal in how they improve my mood and release stress.

But they get less intense the more frequently they occur. So I feel that paradoxically, the sex is way better the less frequently it occurs. You can go too far in the opposite direction too though. Less than once a week and sometimes it can feel awkward. Once a week is the perfect amount.

Your wives may have found the same. Just something to think about.

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I wanted to mention something you men may not have thought of. I honestly only want to have sex once a week and here's why. I've found that my orgasms are WAY more intense the longer I go in between. On a once a week basis, they are toe curling/back arching/practically medicinal in how they improve my mood and release stress.

But they get less intense the more frequently they occur. So I feel that paradoxically, the sex is way better the less frequently it occurs. You can go too far in the opposite direction too though. Less than once a week and sometimes it can feel awkward. Once a week is the perfect amount.

Your wives may have found the same. Just something to think about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't men just accept that romantic relationships change over time? So what started out as a high degree of physical desire has quietly mutated into a relationship of deep security, comfort, trust, mutual respect, love, affection, and, yes, less sex.

Seriously, everything else in life changes over time. What stays exactly the same over a 20 year time span or more?

Why can't women just accept that monogamous relationships change over time? So what started out as a total commitment to seek intimacy only with the partner you love has quietly mutated into a relationship where their rejection of your affection has driven you to seek this elsewhere.

Seriously, everything else in life changes over time. What stays exactly the same over a 20 year time span or more?

Seeking sex elsewhere would erode the security, trust, and respect that had been built up over time though.

So does avoiding/denying/rejecting sex on a repeated basis.

+1

Athol Kay said it well in The Married Man Sex Life Primer:

“Marriage is, at its heart, a sexual relationship. Without the sex it’s just a legally binding friendship, which is a needlessly complicated way of having a friend. A basic agreement of being married is to meet each other’s sexual needs and not to run round getting them met anywhere else. Both affairs and sexless marriages break that relationship agreement.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't men just accept that romantic relationships change over time? So what started out as a high degree of physical desire has quietly mutated into a relationship of deep security, comfort, trust, mutual respect, love, affection, and, yes, less sex.

Seriously, everything else in life changes over time. What stays exactly the same over a 20 year time span or more?

Men aren't always the higher libido partner. Higher libido women are a minority, but not a particularly small one if we go by who posts on forums about this stuff.

Obviously, I can't speak for all men, but I think many men do understand that these things change. I don't think most expect the same frequency or intensity as when the relationship was new. But, speaking for myself, it's hard for me to feel that sense of deep security, trust, mutual respect, love, and affection if my partner is avoiding physical intimacy with me. There's this assumption that men don't recognize that their behavior may have contributed to the lack of intimacy. That isn't my experience at all. I'm hyper-aware of that possibility. That I've screwed something up to the point that my partner no longer trusts or values me. That's what makes it hard.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Athol Kay said it well in The Married Man Sex Life Primer:

“Marriage is, at its heart, a sexual relationship. Without the sex it’s just a legally binding friendship, which is a needlessly complicated way of having a friend. A basic agreement of being married is to meet each other’s sexual needs and not to run round getting them met anywhere else. Both affairs and sexless marriages break that relationship agreement.”

Also, women are shitty friends. They expect all the special treatment of a girlfriend, without providing any sex in exchange.

Anonymous wrote:
Athol Kay said it well in The Married Man Sex Life Primer:

“Marriage is, at its heart, a sexual relationship. Without the sex it’s just a legally binding friendship, which is a needlessly complicated way of having a friend. A basic agreement of being married is to meet each other’s sexual needs and not to run round getting them met anywhere else. Both affairs and sexless marriages break that relationship agreement.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't men just accept that romantic relationships change over time? So what started out as a high degree of physical desire has quietly mutated into a relationship of deep security, comfort, trust, mutual respect, love, affection, and, yes, less sex.

Seriously, everything else in life changes over time. What stays exactly the same over a 20 year time span or more?

Why can't women just accept that monogamous relationships change over time? So what started out as a total commitment to seek intimacy only with the partner you love has quietly mutated into a relationship where their rejection of your affection has driven you to seek this elsewhere.

Seriously, everything else in life changes over time. What stays exactly the same over a 20 year time span or more?

Seeking sex elsewhere would erode the security, trust, and respect that had been built up over time though.

So does avoiding/denying/rejecting sex on a repeated basis.

Why can't men just accept that romantic relationships change over time?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can't men just accept that romantic relationships change over time? So what started out as a high degree of physical desire has quietly mutated into a relationship of deep security, comfort, trust, mutual respect, love, affection, and, yes, less sex.

Seriously, everything else in life changes over time. What stays exactly the same over a 20 year time span or more?

Why can't women just accept that relationships change over time. Maybe 20 years ago your husband could regularly listen to your complaints and provide you with emotional support when you are facing challenges. So what started out as a high degree of emotional support and interest has quietly mutated into a relationship where he doesn't give a crap about your problems. That would be fine, right? Life is change.