Reply to Our home is a mess. I am thinking of leaving

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[quote=Anonymous]
OP, you need to scale back and come home earlier.  There’s no way around that. If it’s not possible at your new job, then find a new job. Your house is going to sh*t and your husband and kids don’t have any respect for their home. Or you. Change that, and you’ll see progress. Yes, I know, easier said than done but you need to start somewhere. This is on both you and your DH, not just your DH. 
Start by sitting everyone down. Don’t yell, don’t overreact. Be clear and simple.

“Things need to change. I am overworked and stressed, and when I come home at the end of the day I get even more stressed because our home is a zoo.  I am sick of being the ‘mean parent’.  I need your help. Here’s where we are going to start:
No TV/ internet/ WiFi until homework is done and checked. Your phones will go in the drawer and your father will give them back after he’s checked your homework.  On Saturday mornings, you clean your rooms.  This means things are organized, laundry is put away and clean sheets go on the bed.  If this doesn’t happen (because you’re tween/teen and I shouldn need to nag you if a routine is in place)  I take TV/internet/phone away until it’s done. For now, that’s all I ask in terms of school/chores.
In terms of manners and respect, no more “moms cooking sucks”. If you want to suggest a recipe, fine. If you want to cook, fine.  But it’s disrepectful to insult me like you have been. No more talking back. If you don’t fulfill these requests, same thing - taking TV/ phone/ internet away.  You can earn them back the next morning by apologizing and discussing with me. 
In terms of hygiene - you guys are ridiculous. Every morning, your father will make sure you’ve showered and brushed your teeth.  This is a non negotiable. Once again - phones / tv/ internet get taken away for the day if you refuse.

Things need to change. I want a happy and relaxing home. If we can do this together, we’ll all be happier. Not just me.”

OP- sit down with your DH and MAKE SURE he is on board and can handle these very few requests. Tell him this is for your own sanity and if it’s not done, divorce. [/quote]

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