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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm feeling very frustrated by this "what is autism?" question right now. I have a teen DD who was always sensitive and a bit quirky, with a tendency to daydream. We had her evaluated for some mild executive function issues a few years ago and the only diagnosis she got was anxiety. She always had friends and no one ever mentioned autism. During the pandemic, after several months of social isolation, she had what I'd describe as a mental breakdown, becoming severely depressed. She has tried several meds and therapy and is now somewhat better, but she's still somewhat depressed and is now having social problems.

I've now had a couple of people suggest very strongly to me that she is autistic and that the only reason I haven't had her evaluated yet is that I'm in denial. When I mention various ways in which she doesn't fit the typical profile, I hear "autism is different in girls" and "it doesn't matter that she has always had good eye contact, doesn't have restrictive interests, is spontaneous and imaginative, doesn't mind crowds, speaks with lots of dramatic flair, writes fiction that shows a lot of insight into other people - none of that means she's not autistic." Which, OK, I accept! I get that the definition is expanding and I'm not trying to resist a diagnosis if it's the best thing for her. I'm planning to have her evaluated again in case I am genuinely missing something. I just don't really understand how it can simultaneously be true that 1) the manifestations of autism are incredibly fluid and protean, and someone can be autistic despite few obvious differences from NT people; 2) there is a basic, binary NT/ND divide and it is very important to diagnose autism because otherwise you are missing something fundamental about who your DC is. And the DSM is not helpful because the criteria are so vague and don't really specify level of severity.

I want to clarify that I'm not trying to be disingenuous, I genuinely struggle with trying to figure out what it actually means to say that someone is autistic or what new information you get from the diagnosis. When my DD was a toddler, parents were constantly told we were supposed to watch our kids like a hawk for signs of autism and rush to get early intervention if we saw anything. And I ran through all those "early signs" checklists and there was never anything of the slightest concern. But I know other parents who could say the same and their kids are now diagnosed with ASD. So were those checklists meaningless? I keep hearing that we have a different understanding of autism than we did 10 years ago, but I still haven't heard a clear articulation of how or why it has changed.[/quote]

I relate to your daughter. She sounds lovely.

[b]I can't stand the different presentation in girls idea either.[/b]
[/quote]

Not sure why you can't stand this idea, considering it's a thing. [/quote]

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