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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know this is going to be a controversial post, but I'm going to ask anyway to try and sort out what I think about this. We are about to have a boy. My husband is Jewish, and I am not.  I come from a culture where it's quite common not to circumcise. I never planned to, and as recent research seems to show it doesn't have medical advantages in developed nations as long as good hygiene is practiced and can interfere with sensitivity, etc., I assumed I would not.  Now my husband is not pushing it and says he wants to look at the research and decide.  But I know part of him feels it would be a rite of passage associated with his Jewish identity.

Here's the thing -- I've tried very hard to be open to Judaism, celebrating holidays and participating in the Jewish community, but there are some things that really bother me. My children are not considered half-Jewish because I'm not Jewish. There's this whole thing about the chosen people and outsiders/insiders. I hear it in all the liturgy. I just don't feel I can connect with it, and I also don't want to give my children the burden of thinking they are Jewish when many Jews won't consider them so. My husband is from Israel and we would not have been allowed to get married there because I am not Jewish, unless I underwent a full orthodox conversion. I was at one point willing to convert but my husband is not religious and he told me he preferred I would not. Regardless, it strikes me as a discriminatory practice that I don't feel comfortable with (on the part of the state), and it really underscored to me that I would not be considered a member of the community in many ways as we got married.

I don't really want my "issues" with this religious crap to confound the decision about circumcision. I want to keep an open mind. I know it is very important to Jewish identity and so on, and I also know there are several countries where it's becoming a human rights/consent issue. It's just getting to the point that I don't even know what I am thinking about and need something concrete to ground me. If you've read this far, and you have any similar experiences in coming to a decision, would appreciate hearing them. Thanks. [/quote]

I recommend this book:  https://www.amazon.com/Questioning-Circumcision-Perspective-Ronald-Goldman/dp/0964489562

We are very observant Jews and active members at an orthodox shul.  We are shomer shabbat, kosher, and for the most part, very traditional.  Our son had a bris on his 8th day, but we did not circumcise him.  Some people call it a "Bris Shalom" (peaceful covenant as opposed to a bris milah) and choose to cut a string as a symbolic "cut".  We both work to advance human rights in our day jobs and found it hypocritical to fight against infant genital mutilation and then mutilate our infant.  Our Orthodox Rabbi knows that we did not circumcise and even the Chabad rebbetzin attended our son's bris shalom.  Our son is accepted by the Jewish community, including the most religious members.  While I do not know other members of our shul who choose not to circumcise, I do know many other orthodox Jews who choose not to circumcise and there is halakah to support this decision.  Many members who found out (we don't advertise it but obviously we didn't have a mohel, so when people ask us about our mohel, it comes up), have told me that they wish they had known of this option.  Pregnant women have come up to me and said they are hoping for a girl because of this issue.  When they have a boy, they telll me that they wish they could be as strong as me and not circumcise but they are scared to follow the path they know is right.  There was an outspoken rabbi on this issue who was a part of the Humanistic shul in DC (machar) who is against circumcision.  I'd expect most of the Jews who belong to a Humanistic shul are unlikely to circumcise.  I know that your children will be welcome there and all Reform shuls where Judaism passes from either the mother or the father (also halaka to support this).

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Can yo say more about the halakeh support or provide a reference? Thanks.[/quote]

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