Reply to DW has incredibly low sex drive - not sure what can be done to help

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
seems as though his wife did hear him. She seems to actually anticipate his sexual advances, according to OP, and dread them.

But her hearing him does not change her libido, nor does it mean she is obligated to somehow match hers up with his.

She doesn't want sex from him, that's that. Unless or until that changes, OP will have to find a productive, healthy way of dealing with it.[/quote]

She can certainly choose celibacy for herself and you're right, that's that.
But he can (and should) choose to pursue his normal sexual needs outside the marriage.
That's a productive and healthy way to deal with a withholding spouse.[/quote]

He can, but that could have effects for the marriage.  Since he seems to be seeking a healthy way to resolve this, he should try to think about what he can do to deal with his urges in a healthy way, in a way which respects his wife's normal sexual appetite.

That's a productive and healthy way to deal with a spouse who's libido is lower than yours.

And, as a bonus, he will probably experience a lot of personal growth in the process.  Win win![/quote]

Why does his discrete sexual affair have any effect on the marriage? If anything, it makes everybody happier.
She gets to not have sex.
She doesn't have to reject his advances.
He gets to have sex.
Win Win!

What makes her desire to NOT have sex any more important than his desire for sex?[/quote]

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