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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How far are you traveling? I know you mentioned taking food wasn't an option but I think my first choice would be to bring a nice meal for us, share with whomever. Honeybaked ham, a couple of sides and just reheat them when we arrived. Serve my family dinner and anyone who wants to join is welcome. It's bold but so is providing dinner for certain family members and not others. You could be honest and say it was because for the last X years we have arrived to no food and you want your children to enjoy a Christmas dinner or one of DH generous clients gifted this to us and we wanted to share.

Alternatively, I would choose a different time to visit. Either a different day or make reservations at a nice restaurant for dinner and arrive before or after.

What does your DH say? Has he spoken to his mother about this? Does your SIL or anyone else in the family say anything when you arrive to no food? I just can't imagine this.[/quote]

OP again.  Thank you for your kind suggestions - I like these the most.  I think I will order a Honeybaked Ham.  I didn't know they still had those!  We are in the area.  The day or two after Christmas, we go to other relatives (who are not opposed to feeding us - LOL!).  My family is, shall we say, more warm and welcoming.

DH and his family have some issues.  Not least of all, Mil (and I have noticed this with one or two siblings, also) pushes him around and he takes it.  He is considering getting therapy, after all these years.  He is most definitely afraid of her.   I think, since you asked, that I am just too in shock (yes, every time) to think a parent would treat a child this way, never mind their grandchildren.  Obviously, she sees them as an extension of him. Let's just say, I have learned a LOT about psychology (normal and not) with his family.  The more successful he is, the more she enjoys it.  WARPED.

But I digress.  I like taking the meal to them - perfect! I probably did not consider this before, because we just did Thanksgiving for his family and a bunch more people, and it was a ton of work.  Fun, but exhausting.   [/quote]

OP. Are you retarded?  Why haven't you answered the questions repeatedly asked about time shifts?  [/quote]

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