Reply to Does having kids really suck as bad as people say?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]This is a horrible thread. Parenting is not something you wing it at. There are many known methods that are documented and that really work. OP, it's as hard as you make it.[/quote]

Ugh, you are so annoying.  I have read up on many methods that are documented and supposedly really work.  None of them have helped with DS's hyperactivity, impulsiveness, oppositional behavior, and low frustration tolerance.  Nor have sessions with a child psych.  It is not just a question of "well, if you do everything right, things won't be hard."   Things are hard, but I still love DS and am glad to be a parent.  There is no one magical formula that will make things easy.  You don't get to choose the kid you get.[/quote]NP here. It's interesting that you called that poster annoying, because I just find it so annoying  myself, when  people say, 'you get what you get', not true at all. How the parents nurture and react to each developmental phase, is very important. Personalities that your kids will end up with are somewhat formed by the parents. [/quote]

Completely new PP.  No, the poster saying "annoying" is right.  You and the first poster sound as though you have easy or relatively easy kids.  Good for you, but you really can't take credit for having a kid with an easy, malleable temperament.  It sounds as though second PP is a great parent and is doing everything she can.  There is only so much you can do to mold and change things, and certainly with some issues you can only cope and help your child cope.[/quote]

Why do you assume anyone who believes nurture makes at least some difference must have naturally easy kids? Kind of assuming nurture makes no difference?[/quote]

Nurture makes very little difference at a very young age.  I know families with 4-5 kids and some of them will have a laid back temperament and sleep well while others won't...and all of these kids with the same parents.  Just tonight I talked to some friends that had wanted 5 kids after they had the first one.  They had a second one and he was so difficult they decided not to have any more...again, same parents with 2 completely different children. [/quote]

Ha, I have two kids and I can bear witness to this.  My second is ridiculously easy.  Sure, a small part of it is probably that I'm not terrified of screwing up this time (I know that some screwups are inevitable), and so I'm a little more relaxed.  But I'd say it's 85% temperament and 15% me.  My oldest was so tough that there are nearly 9 years between my kids, if that tells you anything.  To be honest, I'm kind of grateful for the tough child, because she taught me not to be a smug asshole about parenting.[/quote]

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