Reply to Throwing husband a bone?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nor it is a weapon or a reward...

I feel if DWs are not willing to seriously look at how and whether they are meeting the emotional and sexual needs of their husbands and vice versa, they really have no cause for complaint if the denied spouse is stepping out on the side.  You've really left them with no other choice to have those needs met.   
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F here. Sex as a weapon or reward is cruel. [/quote]

M here, and I agree.  But you can see how this dynamic starts: DH wants to have sex, DW doesn't want to for whatever reason (or no reason at all--sometimes she's just not in the mood), and when DH asks her about why not, she says "you don't do enough around the house" or "you don't do X," or "you did Y and it upset me and now I don't feel like it."

Sex has been put out there as a weapon--DH didn't earn his fuck, and DW withholds what he wants.

So, DH does what she asks, and expects his reward, and the downward spiral begins.

[/quote]

You do realize this works both ways, right?  DW isn't having her needs met outside the bedroom so her level of desire and attraction is low.  She complains and DH says he would be better if he got more sex.  She complies but still doesn't get what she wants and the downward spiral begins.[/quote]

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