Reply to What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]..........[b]I need X and Y and Z" where X, Y and Z are things like "pay your fair share of household expenses" and "set a wedding date" and whatever else is important to you. Until he is willing to do those things, I see no reason to have him as part of your life.[/b][/quote]

This is TERRIBLE advice.

How many times have we read posts about women complaining about the men they married saying something like: "I knew he had a problem with ...... but I thought he'd change" or "I knew he had a problem with ....... but it has gotten worse".

This guy is damaged goods. Something in his past has caused him to have a distorted view about money and relationships when it comes to money. I am the one who posted that he is not responsible for the support of your children - that is your responsibility and that of their father.

But when he takes the view that the cost of a visit to an amusement park should be borne entirely by you because he is merely accompanying you for the sake of the children, it is petty and mean-spirited. It is something deep within his psyche that causes him to react that way to money. It will not change no matter what you agree with him as the ground rules.[/quote]

I'm the poster you're quoting, and I actually completely agree with you. I also know that it is heartbreaking and hard to walk away from a person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Yesterday, plenty of people were advising the OP to demand changes from her boyfriend. Many also said that he should move out but that they could continue to date. It's not easy to cut someone off cold turkey, even if it's the right thing to do. I was simply suggesting that OP put in place some conditions on their relationship.

That said, I think a better scenario would be that OP never speaks to him again and moves on with her life, possibly with the OP of the post "Argument gone wrong" as a tenant.[/quote]

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