Reply to What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Sabrina55][quote=Sabrina55][quote=Anonymous]I posted before, but working adults in the household generally should be 50/50 contributors.  Whose kids are whose don't matter. This percentage can be changed if someone is making significantly more or less.

Now, if I had kids and was living with a fiancé who was not their father, I would expect to pay kid stuff like clothing, helath insurance, field trips, big Christmas presents, etc.

Which begs the question, was he one for buying gifts? Did he buy you things? Your kids?

That guy has some SERIOUS issues with money. I wonder what his childhood was like....[/quote]

He bought me gifts for occasions, I bought all the gifts for the kids and put both our names on it. He bought them one gift each EVER, years ago and that was as a thank you for them helping rake one of his houses and he gave them a dollar for every bag they filled. I NEVER EVER expected him to pay for kids clothes, activities, health related stuff. [/quote]

[b]One of the sweetest things I can remember, our first Christmas together, my son brought his own money to school without even telling me and bought him Football Glasses of the team he likes, from the school fundraiser and surprised him with his own gift.[/b] [/quote]

OP. I posted yesterday multiple times and have been following this and being frustrated and also cheering for you.

What you described in the bolded post is very sweet. Be proud of your son that he is a considerate and generous person. And then move on. This kind of thinking is what my mom refers to as "toxic nostalgia". You are looking back on a sweet thing fondly. This man does not deserve that from you. A person who deserves to have their girlfriend's children come up with presents independently and share in those family moments does not pack their stuff and walk out when asked to contribute fairly to household expenses.

I really want to see the email he sent you. I would also strongly encourage you to stop engaging with him. It's okay for you to tell him something along the lines of "If you want to be with me, I need X and Y and Z" where X, Y and Z are things like "pay your fair share of household expenses" and "set a wedding date" and whatever else is important to you. Until he is willing to do those things, I see no reason to have him as part of your life.[/quote]

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