Reply to What to tell child who is product of an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]18:58, are you saying that OP has no responsibility in tbis situation?  She was having an affair witb a much older married man.  There iz equal blame and responsibility.  She chose to have a child even thoughhe made it perfectlly clear that he wanted nothing to do with the child.  She has signed a confidentiality agreement.  If OP has even the IQ in mid double digits, which I doubt, then she had legal counsel. 
She made her bed and now she doesn't find it comfortable. Tough.  He owes nothing to her or her unfortunate child.[/quote]

Look, I am pro choice.  But I am also anti abortion.  I think all women have to make the decision for themselves and not have it imposed on them by someone else.  But, it is not something I would do.  No matter what the circumstances of conception, I actually respect and admire a woman who keeps a pregnancy despite all the self-serving reasons why she might want to abort instead.  And to KEEP that child herself instead of washing her hands of it, putting the baby up for adoption?

We should be congratulating OP for taking the difficult path, not smearing her for accepting the consequences of her actions.  The father must also accept the consequences of his choice to have sex outside of marriage.  Including that a confidentiality agreement might not be enough to hide his sins.  [/quote]

I would admire the OP more if she actually held to her side of the bargain. She wanted the child, she's getting support and she's signed a confidentiality agreement. That's it. Now it seems like she's not cool with what she's agreed to and wants to stick it to this man by now forcing him to acknowledge her daughter's existence. Not cool.

Should the man's wife know about his affair? Damn straight. But forcing this guy to acknowledge the child is the wrong way to go about it and will cause resentment not some sudden wave of love for his bastard child.

If the guy is paying child support, he's fulfilling his obligation as a sperm donor (which he was essentially). He never signed on for being a father, so he didn't breach any agreement with her on that score. Parenting should be a mutual decision; not something someone can force on you.[/quote]

It was mutual when he put his penis into her vagina. But for that act this all would not be possible.[/quote]

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