Reply to What to tell child who is product of an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous]You guys have nothing up on Papua New Guinea and witch-burning. It seems that most of the people on this thread are either men who feel they should be able to fuck without consequences and women who are either terrified of their husbands doing this or need to feel self-righteous about their choices.  Very little compassion. For those of you who lead SPOTLESS lives, and in your spare time work hard to care for others, then cast a stone, otherwise, STFU.

To OP, I would be sure to establish your legal rights, including some sort of guarantee of support for college. For the moment, you don't need to tell your daughter anything. and then age appropriate discussions. For all you know, you will get remarried and your daughter will have a father figure who cares very much about her.

The issue of abandonment is serious, however. Maybe you can establish visitation with the father, one afternoon a week. You don't blow his perfect family cover and don't threaten his facade of a marriage, in return for him spending a few supervised hours every week with his daughter. See how it goes?

fwiw, I have a friend who discovered his dad had a child from an outside relationship only in his late 20s, after his dad died. It was totally messed up, on all sides. I'm not sure what a better process would have been, but keeping dark secrets rarely works out well. [/quote]

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