Reply to Why do so many people think it's okay to flake last minute?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had this mom friend for a while who would do that. I'd invite her and then instead of saying no she would say yes but then show up very late (like an hour + to a sit down dinner) or cancel last minute. We interacted a lot beyond that due to kids so it felt perpetually hot and cold. At some point I had enough, but I think on some twisted level she DID want to be invited and then treat me carelessly like some sort of power play to show me where I stood.[/quote]

And you affirmed her stature by repeatedly inviting her to things and remaining cordial with her. Why? Why were you so hard up to "befriend" her? Because you lack self-worth or you were trying to use her to social climb?[/quote]

Can we not do this weird DCUM rhetorical move where we somehow try to flip it that the normal person behaving typically is somehow the problem? [/quote]

Thank you! I love that inviting my kids friends moms into my home automatically translates to being a “orbiter” and “FYI they’re all group chatting about how pathetic you are.” People actually think this way?[/quote]

Being pushy and trying to befriend random parents when you're middle aged typically comes across as a bit off and desperate. Sorry to be the bearer of that reality. Normal, successful, socially-skilled middle aged parents have enough friends.[/quote]

Wow, so if someone moves to this area in mid-life they should just give up any hope of making friends because everyone automatically thinks they're desperate?[/quote]

+1.  Not to mention, so many things can shift over time.  I had a really great friends group when I moved to the DMV in my late 20s, but this area is so tranisent and expensive to live and slowly friends started leaving altogether or moving further out so that it's hard to see them on a regular basis.  This idea that you shouldn't make new friends once you reach a certain age is rubbish.  But it is hard.[/quote]

+1 I am always making friends and then losing them as they move away. I seem to have a knack for picking out the awesome lady who is putting her house on the market in six months.
But according to DCUM anyone who tries to make friends after the age of 22 is a loser. You make friends in college and then your friend group is frozen and you never add or subtract anyone. Even if they are completely obnoxious like in so many threads on here, “she’s part of the friend group” and thus infallible.
I was at a mom gathering where it came out that everyone grew up here except me. “Wow it must be hard to move somewhere and have to make new friends.” Ya think?[/quote]

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