Reply to No birthday present- break up with him?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is like a man saying my love language is sexy clothing and lingerie. I want her to show me she cares by putting thought into what I would want to see her in and wearing what I want her to wear and when I want her to wear it. If she doesn’t do that, then she clearly doesn’t care about me or love me and it’s disappointing because a good girlfriend would want to please her man and do what is important to him in a thoughtful way. [/quote]

For some men having s sexy woman who takes care of herself is a non-negotiable.  They would never date a fat slob who never wears make up.  OP is a materialistic person who expects gifts - why should she compromise and accept a someone who doesn't share her values?  I don't share her values, but I still thing she should get what she needs from a relationship with no judgment.  I get what I need from mine and find it fulfilling.  Everyone should have that [/quote]

Disagree. Gifts giving has been a love language and way to express affection since beginning of civilization. He was doing it before and now stopped. He could have gotten flowers at $20 at Safeway to show his affection.
It’s not materialistic for OP to feel that way. [/quote]

Gift giving is a made up ‘love language’ to get stuff. Comes from the traditional gender norms of men are a wallet and need to pay out to be with me mentality… if you actually love someone then you don’t care that they brought you Valentine’s Day gifts in person or that your birthday gift was a dinner out. Do you teach your kids to demand gifts from extended family and from everyone around them and if they don’t get gifts on the exact day, then those people don’t love them? Nonsense. Gifts shouldn’t be demanded or required or else they aren’t gifts. [/quote]

It’s very impolite to go to someone’s bday party and offer them an act of service (clean the kitchen) when everyone else brings gift. I just wouldn’t invite that person anymore.
It is still traditional and a social norm to give gifts on bday. My mom will be very upset if I don’t give her flowers or anything for her bday. I give gifts to my girlfriends on their bdays. Because I value these people.
And yes, you need to grow up: life in general is material. It costs money.

I wouldn’t be with a man who only can offer acts of service but I’m the one paying rent. No way, it’s actually HIM who is being materialistic and too cheap . [/quote]

So all housewives are materialistic and cheap, as they only offer acts of service. [/quote]

Let’s not compare long term marriages dynamic between established partners with social norms for dating, friendships etc. 
Of course that’s an outlier and totally disrespectful not to bring a gift to bday party. Adults bring a desert and a nice bottle of wine  when they visit friends

OP is not married to her BF for the gifts to become a monotonous obligation. Also, it doesn’t look like he gives her any random gifts “on point” either. He just doesn’t give a f..,k [/quote]

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