Reply to If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you.

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Reply to "If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quot
Good - I didn't think so.  So my response wasn't really directed at you.

For Pete's sake OP, if  you are willing to do things with her that she enjoys, all I am saying is make some effort.  Hire a babysitter and make some plans  I feel like a broken record but really, go read 12:02 again.  They were so right.  She wants to know that you are still interested in her in many ways beyond sex.  Pregnancy, childbirth and becoming a mother throws so many of us for a loop.  You are hormonal, sleep-deprived, and your whole sense of yourself - physically and otherwise - is completely rocked.  Tell her that you miss her and that you want to spend time together.  You can't expect that planning one date will mean she's raring to go but if you make an honest, genuine effort to bridge the gap and see things from her point of view, you will begin to rebuild the closeness necessary for wanting sex.  Trust me - I could be your wife.  I actually kind of feel like I'm rehashing old arguments with my DH.  [/quote]

OP here.  How long a period were you "off" sex?  I've been living this for 6 years now.  Sex for DW has not been on the high priority list.[/quote]

Three years?  It's gotten better now, but DH is meeting me halfway now.  I'm sorry it's been so long for you.  Please consider that 1.5 years of that have been pregnancy and probably another year just straight up recovery/newborn stage.  The rest in-between I can't speak to.  As for me, it was a combination of so many stressors (both child related and not) plus being made to feel guilty, not feeling like DH was hearing my POV or attempting to understand my feelings, and being resentful that I felt I was the only one who cared about carving out time for us that wasn't dedicated to sex.  All of that has gotten so much better now, thank God.  In the end, DH has had to lower his expectations for frequency and I've had to concede that I will have to commit to more.  But I no longer feel like sex is some pressured thing that is expected of me, and DH is getting smarter about knowing when to initiate (yes, he still does most of that, I'll admit).  I'm also trying to make more of an effort not to go to bed looking like I got run over by a truck.  ;)  And he's taking on more responsibility for making sure we have QT together.  It's working.[/quote]

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