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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My boyfriend and I have a beautiful connection. both of us are marriage minded. There is one issue that’s giving me pause and I’d like to know what others think.

I am ambitious and probably make a little more than him. He is somewhat traditional on gender roles. he doesn’t want me to work long hours, and I get the feeling he does not want me to climb the corporate ladder.

I’ve told him in marriage I’d compromise on long hours. But I have this feeling he may generally speaking resent me for being ambitious down the road. I have no plans of stopping being career driven though I can dial back hours.

Everything else is golden between us. Thoughts?[/quote]

This is an essential issue to deal with before marriage. If your BF envisions your life with you the primary caregiver, then that will lead to resentment from you. In marriages where both parents work outside the home, both parents are equal caregivers. If he is saying at this point that he doesn’t want to do that, then your career goals will be very difficult without outside help. Some examples of equal caregiving 
 - parents split the night care of newborns. Mom takes 10-3, dad takes 3-8. Each parent getting 5 hours of rest. Mom pumps milk during her shift so dad can bottle feed during his. 
- each parent cleans bottles, does laundry, grocery shopping, home and yard cleaning. 
- each parent has a primary responsibility for aspects of the child’s life. One parent is daycare (forms, back up care if kid is sick, restocking items), another is medical - making appointments, tracking medications, milestones. You need to separate duties so one parent isn’t mentally overloaded with responsibilities. 
- daycare drop off and pick up is split

Two working parents is possible. If your career is important to you, your parent should be willing to support you and your family. DH and I both work, and this separation has worked well for us. [/quote]

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