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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think his parents parented how they thought good parents should. They weren't conditioned to see any beyond that.

However, they couldn't instill fundamental Asian value, of understanding and appreciating [b]parental sacrifices[/b]. He turned out to be a whiny, ungrateful young internet adult who has no appreciation for his privileges.

This is more of a lesson for Asian parents to not focus whole life on first doing "good kid duty" and "good adult kid duty" towards their own parents and the go on to doing "good parent duty" towards their kids. No one is ever satisfied or grateful so better do basic duties well and then just focus on their own lives.YOLO.

Also use family THERAPY so everyone can benefit from good mental health and learn to balance their roles.[/quote]

God I am so sick of hearing about Asian parents' "sacrifices". If both of them work, it's a sacrifice. If one of them elects to stay at home, it's a sacrifice. If a parent bailed out of a professional program because of pregnancy, it's a sacrifice. If they forgot to put gas in the car because they were thinking about what to make for dinner, it's a sacrifice.
For most parents, these are just decisions adults make in the course of their lives or events that come to pass. Chinese parents use any and all tactics to guilt their children and force the sense of Confucian obligation.
-signed, Chinese and I throw dagger eyes at any of my Chinese friends who talk about this crap[/quote]
Parents who immigrate are making some sacrifices so that their kids can have a better life.  I can only imagine how hard it was for my parents when they immigrated here with four little kids and not knowing the language and culture.  I made a "sacrifice" when I moved from somewhere I had lived for 40 years so that my kids could have a better education; my spouse's parents moved to a different city hundreds of miles away so that my spouse could have better educational opportunities.

When you move like that you sacrifice all the social/friend/family connections. I've not been able to build a similar social connection in this new city I moved to, but I made that sacrifice for my kid's education.

No, I'm not a tiger parent, but parents who make these moves for their kid's future are absolutely making those sacrifices.
[/quote]

The parents I see in the night program, losing sleep to put themselves thru that night program, parents to try to improve their own prospects at the cost of family time are the ones who truly can be described as making sacrifices. Moving abroad to a country full of opportunities when you don't make an effort for those opportunities but instead guilt and harass your children about it throughout their childhood is not sacrifice.
It's called passing the buck where they dump all the responsibility on the kid.

My kids attend the SHSAT competitive high schools in NYC. I can't tell you how many mothers I've met there who push and push their child and yet the mother doesn't work and are hard pressed to describe what they do all day when they only have one child who is doesn't need much supervision.
I've actually met college consultants who say that the last thing a college reviewer wants to read is yet another essay by a Chinese applicant talking about their parents' sacrifices. [/quote]

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