Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think his parents parented how they thought good parents should. They weren't conditioned to see any beyond that.

However, they couldn't instill fundamental Asian value, of understanding and appreciating parental sacrifices. He turned out to be a whiny, ungrateful young internet adult who has no appreciation for his privileges.

This is more of a lesson for Asian parents to not focus whole life on first doing "good kid duty" and "good adult kid duty" towards their own parents and the go on to doing "good parent duty" towards their kids. No one is ever satisfied or grateful so better do basic duties well and then just focus on their own lives.YOLO.

Also use family THERAPY so everyone can benefit from good mental health and learn to balance their roles.

God I am so sick of hearing about Asian parents' "sacrifices". If both of them work, it's a sacrifice. If one of them elects to stay at home, it's a sacrifice. If a parent bailed out of a professional program because of pregnancy, it's a sacrifice. If they forgot to put gas in the car because they were thinking about what to make for dinner, it's a sacrifice.
For most parents, these are just decisions adults make in the course of their lives or events that come to pass. Chinese parents use any and all tactics to guilt their children and force the sense of Confucian obligation.
-signed, Chinese and I throw dagger eyes at any of my Chinese friends who talk about this crap

Parents who immigrate are making some sacrifices so that their kids can have a better life. I can only imagine how hard it was for my parents when they immigrated here with four little kids and not knowing the language and culture. I made a "sacrifice" when I moved from somewhere I had lived for 40 years so that my kids could have a better education; my spouse's parents moved to a different city hundreds of miles away so that my spouse could have better educational opportunities.

When you move like that you sacrifice all the social/friend/family connections. I've not been able to build a similar social connection in this new city I moved to, but I made that sacrifice for my kid's education.

No, I'm not a tiger parent, but parents who make these moves for their kid's future are absolutely making those sacrifices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think his parents parented how they thought good parents should. They weren't conditioned to see any beyond that.

However, they couldn't instill fundamental Asian value, of understanding and appreciating parental sacrifices. He turned out to be a whiny, ungrateful young internet adult who has no appreciation for his privileges.

This is more of a lesson for Asian parents to not focus whole life on first doing "good kid duty" and "good adult kid duty" towards their own parents and the go on to doing "good parent duty" towards their kids. No one is ever satisfied or grateful so better do basic duties well and then just focus on their own lives.YOLO.

Also use family THERAPY so everyone can benefit from good mental health and learn to balance their roles.

God I am so sick of hearing about Asian parents' "sacrifices". If both of them work, it's a sacrifice. If one of them elects to stay at home, it's a sacrifice. If a parent bailed out of a professional program because of pregnancy, it's a sacrifice. If they forgot to put gas in the car because they were thinking about what to make for dinner, it's a sacrifice.
For most parents, these are just decisions adults make in the course of their lives or events that come to pass. Chinese parents use any and all tactics to guilt their children and force the sense of Confucian obligation.
-signed, Chinese and I throw dagger eyes at any of my Chinese friends who talk about this crap

Parents who immigrate are making some sacrifices so that their kids can have a better life. I can only imagine how hard it was for my parents when they immigrated here with four little kids and not knowing the language and culture. I made a "sacrifice" when I moved from somewhere I had lived for 40 years so that my kids could have a better education; my spouse's parents moved to a different city hundreds of miles away so that my spouse could have better educational opportunities.

When you move like that you sacrifice all the social/friend/family connections. I've not been able to build a similar social connection in this new city I moved to, but I made that sacrifice for my kid's education.

No, I'm not a tiger parent, but parents who make these moves for their kid's future are absolutely making those sacrifices.

Everybody who immigrated here is sacrificial according to this logic.

Anonymous wrote:“who are principal violins at their youth orchestras”

“go on to excel in music”

Are you people actually trying to miss the point or are you really just this stupid?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think his parents parented how they thought good parents should. They weren't conditioned to see any beyond that.

However, they couldn't instill fundamental Asian value, of understanding and appreciating parental sacrifices. He turned out to be a whiny, ungrateful young internet adult who has no appreciation for his privileges.

This is more of a lesson for Asian parents to not focus whole life on first doing "good kid duty" and "good adult kid duty" towards their own parents and the go on to doing "good parent duty" towards their kids. No one is ever satisfied or grateful so better do basic duties well and then just focus on their own lives.YOLO.

Also use family THERAPY so everyone can benefit from good mental health and learn to balance their roles.

God I am so sick of hearing about Asian parents' "sacrifices". If both of them work, it's a sacrifice. If one of them elects to stay at home, it's a sacrifice. If a parent bailed out of a professional program because of pregnancy, it's a sacrifice. If they forgot to put gas in the car because they were thinking about what to make for dinner, it's a sacrifice.
For most parents, these are just decisions adults make in the course of their lives or events that come to pass. Chinese parents use any and all tactics to guilt their children and force the sense of Confucian obligation.
-signed, Chinese and I throw dagger eyes at any of my Chinese friends who talk about this crap

Parents who immigrate are making some sacrifices so that their kids can have a better life. I can only imagine how hard it was for my parents when they immigrated here with four little kids and not knowing the language and culture. I made a "sacrifice" when I moved from somewhere I had lived for 40 years so that my kids could have a better education; my spouse's parents moved to a different city hundreds of miles away so that my spouse could have better educational opportunities.

When you move like that you sacrifice all the social/friend/family connections. I've not been able to build a similar social connection in this new city I moved to, but I made that sacrifice for my kid's education.

No, I'm not a tiger parent, but parents who make these moves for their kid's future are absolutely making those sacrifices.

Everybody who immigrated here is sacrificial according to this logic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think his parents parented how they thought good parents should. They weren't conditioned to see any beyond that.

However, they couldn't instill fundamental Asian value, of understanding and appreciating parental sacrifices. He turned out to be a whiny, ungrateful young internet adult who has no appreciation for his privileges.

This is more of a lesson for Asian parents to not focus whole life on first doing "good kid duty" and "good adult kid duty" towards their own parents and the go on to doing "good parent duty" towards their kids. No one is ever satisfied or grateful so better do basic duties well and then just focus on their own lives.YOLO.

Also use family THERAPY so everyone can benefit from good mental health and learn to balance their roles.

God I am so sick of hearing about Asian parents' "sacrifices". If both of them work, it's a sacrifice. If one of them elects to stay at home, it's a sacrifice. If a parent bailed out of a professional program because of pregnancy, it's a sacrifice. If they forgot to put gas in the car because they were thinking about what to make for dinner, it's a sacrifice.
For most parents, these are just decisions adults make in the course of their lives or events that come to pass. Chinese parents use any and all tactics to guilt their children and force the sense of Confucian obligation.
-signed, Chinese and I throw dagger eyes at any of my Chinese friends who talk about this crap

Parents who immigrate are making some sacrifices so that their kids can have a better life. I can only imagine how hard it was for my parents when they immigrated here with four little kids and not knowing the language and culture. I made a "sacrifice" when I moved from somewhere I had lived for 40 years so that my kids could have a better education; my spouse's parents moved to a different city hundreds of miles away so that my spouse could have better educational opportunities.

When you move like that you sacrifice all the social/friend/family connections. I've not been able to build a similar social connection in this new city I moved to, but I made that sacrifice for my kid's education.

No, I'm not a tiger parent, but parents who make these moves for their kid's future are absolutely making those sacrifices.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really can't stand this victim mentality. Grow up and live your own life.

He was a child subjected to enormous pressure such that he could not stay healthy. It's disgusting to call this a "victim mentality." If you look at birthrates in Korea, you'll see that this grindset attitude is not life-affirming. If you haven't read about Korean cram schools, I suggest you take a little time to read about them as an example.

Many years ago, I lived next to an Asian family, who screamed at their son for getting less than 100 on any math test and made the kid practice the piano nonstop. I wonder what happened to him because they never relented.

Parents are free to push their kids as they see fit. My parents should have pushed me more, for instance. However, this level of pushing has real consequences and people should be careful not to go too far.

Anonymous wrote:I really can't stand this victim mentality. Grow up and live your own life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

There is an Indian comedian who is a mom and does skits about this and her kids participate in the videos. Pretty funny stuff and I always get the feeling that her kids are okay with her demands.

There are so many reasonable Asian American parents. Imagine if other races took the worst of white American parenting as an example and made sweeping generalizations about all white parents. Or black parents or Latino parents.

Eh. I’m an Asian (Indian) millennial and grew up with immigrant parents. It’s a stereotype for a reason. My parents were actually awesome and nothing like this, and they’re an outlier among my peers as far as I can tell. I was never forced to play an instrument, they weren’t particularly pushy about grades, they weren’t strict, let me drink at home, let boyfriends sleep over (when I was in college and after, didn’t come up before then) and basically acted like reasonably permissive white parents. And I turned out absolutely fine.

They had a pretty big social circle (of other Indian immigrants) when I was growing up, and I’m lifelong friends with many of their kids. I was definitely the best adjusted among them all when we were growing up. And they all always wanted to come hang out at my house when we were growing up because their parents were way more strict, and all still love my parents for being normal. But the point is, they were extremely different from the other Asian parents I knew. So while obviously I know there are normal ones, I think a large percentage are like what is being described here.

according to yourself

I’m the PP. Yes, and? I’m pretty self aware. Definitely I have flaws, but I was never afraid of telling my parents stuff. The friends I refer to above were secretive, would doctor report cards, were afraid to admit to their parents they talked to boys, etc., as teenagers. That’s the opposite of being well adjusted in my view.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

There is an Indian comedian who is a mom and does skits about this and her kids participate in the videos. Pretty funny stuff and I always get the feeling that her kids are okay with her demands.

There are so many reasonable Asian American parents. Imagine if other races took the worst of white American parenting as an example and made sweeping generalizations about all white parents. Or black parents or Latino parents.

Eh. I’m an Asian (Indian) millennial and grew up with immigrant parents. It’s a stereotype for a reason. My parents were actually awesome and nothing like this, and they’re an outlier among my peers as far as I can tell. I was never forced to play an instrument, they weren’t particularly pushy about grades, they weren’t strict, let me drink at home, let boyfriends sleep over (when I was in college and after, didn’t come up before then) and basically acted like reasonably permissive white parents. And I turned out absolutely fine.

They had a pretty big social circle (of other Indian immigrants) when I was growing up, and I’m lifelong friends with many of their kids. I was definitely the best adjusted among them all when we were growing up. And they all always wanted to come hang out at my house when we were growing up because their parents were way more strict, and all still love my parents for being normal. But the point is, they were extremely different from the other Asian parents I knew. So while obviously I know there are normal ones, I think a large percentage are like what is being described here.

according to yourself

I’m the PP. Yes, and? I’m pretty self aware. Definitely I have flaws, but I was never afraid of telling my parents stuff. The friends I refer to above were secretive, would doctor report cards, were afraid to admit to their parents they talked to boys, etc., as teenagers. That’s the opposite of being well adjusted in my view.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

There is an Indian comedian who is a mom and does skits about this and her kids participate in the videos. Pretty funny stuff and I always get the feeling that her kids are okay with her demands.

There are so many reasonable Asian American parents. Imagine if other races took the worst of white American parenting as an example and made sweeping generalizations about all white parents. Or black parents or Latino parents.

Eh. I’m an Asian (Indian) millennial and grew up with immigrant parents. It’s a stereotype for a reason. My parents were actually awesome and nothing like this, and they’re an outlier among my peers as far as I can tell. I was never forced to play an instrument, they weren’t particularly pushy about grades, they weren’t strict, let me drink at home, let boyfriends sleep over (when I was in college and after, didn’t come up before then) and basically acted like reasonably permissive white parents. And I turned out absolutely fine.

They had a pretty big social circle (of other Indian immigrants) when I was growing up, and I’m lifelong friends with many of their kids. I was definitely the best adjusted among them all when we were growing up. And they all always wanted to come hang out at my house when we were growing up because their parents were way more strict, and all still love my parents for being normal. But the point is, they were extremely different from the other Asian parents I knew. So while obviously I know there are normal ones, I think a large percentage are like what is being described here.

according to yourself

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

There is an Indian comedian who is a mom and does skits about this and her kids participate in the videos. Pretty funny stuff and I always get the feeling that her kids are okay with her demands.

There are so many reasonable Asian American parents. Imagine if other races took the worst of white American parenting as an example and made sweeping generalizations about all white parents. Or black parents or Latino parents.

Eh. I’m an Asian (Indian) millennial and grew up with immigrant parents. It’s a stereotype for a reason. My parents were actually awesome and nothing like this, and they’re an outlier among my peers as far as I can tell. I was never forced to play an instrument, they weren’t particularly pushy about grades, they weren’t strict, let me drink at home, let boyfriends sleep over (when I was in college and after, didn’t come up before then) and basically acted like reasonably permissive white parents. And I turned out absolutely fine.

They had a pretty big social circle (of other Indian immigrants) when I was growing up, and I’m lifelong friends with many of their kids. I was definitely the best adjusted among them all when we were growing up. And they all always wanted to come hang out at my house when we were growing up because their parents were way more strict, and all still love my parents for being normal. But the point is, they were extremely different from the other Asian parents I knew. So while obviously I know there are normal ones, I think a large percentage are like what is being described here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw this in my own Asian family. Here is how it went down:


Son: I am interested in music. I think I like to play the guitar.

Mom: Why would you want to learn that instrument? They are for poor people. We're going to purchase a Steinway grand piano, and you're going to get weekly piano lessons. In addition to that, I am going to sign you up for piano competition events. You must finish in the top three, and if you fail to do that, you will not be allowed to hang out with your friends. You will be judged against other Asian kids, and do not make me look bad.

​Son: I love watching Novak Djokovic play tennis. He is the best tennis player.

Mom: I am going to enroll you into tennis bootcamps along with expensive private tennis lessons. You have to enter tournaments and become the best player in your age group. Other Asian parents posted on WeChat that their kids won tournaments, and I expect the same thing from you. If you have to give up time to hang out with your friends, so be it.

Son: I love art. I think it is cool.

Mom: I am going to sign you up for USArts. I expect you to be the best art student in your age group. I also expect you to come up with an art portfolio so that we can use it to enter art competitions. Other Asian parents brag about their kids winning art competitions, so I expect the same thing from you.

Son: I heard a lot about TJ. I would like to know more.

Mom: I am going to enroll you in Sunshine academy or Best academy. That way, they will prepare you for TJ prep exams. I expect you to be at TJ five years from now.


​Son: Mom, now that college commencement is over, I would like to move as far from you as I can. Thank you for making my childhood a living hell.

There is an Indian comedian who is a mom and does skits about this and her kids participate in the videos. Pretty funny stuff and I always get the feeling that her kids are okay with her demands.

There are so many reasonable Asian American parents. Imagine if other races took the worst of white American parenting as an example and made sweeping generalizations about all white parents. Or black parents or Latino parents.

Anonymous wrote:“who are principal violins at their youth orchestras”

“go on to excel in music”

Are you people actually trying to miss the point or are you really just this stupid?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think his parents parented how they thought good parents should. They weren't conditioned to see any beyond that.

However, they couldn't instill fundamental Asian value, of understanding and appreciating parental sacrifices. He turned out to be a whiny, ungrateful young internet adult who has no appreciation for his privileges.

This is more of a lesson for Asian parents to not focus whole life on first doing "good kid duty" and "good adult kid duty" towards their own parents and the go on to doing "good parent duty" towards their kids. No one is ever satisfied or grateful so better do basic duties well and then just focus on their own lives.YOLO.

Also use family THERAPY so everyone can benefit from good mental health and learn to balance their roles.

God I am so sick of hearing about Asian parents' "sacrifices". If both of them work, it's a sacrifice. If one of them elects to stay at home, it's a sacrifice. If a parent bailed out of a professional program because of pregnancy, it's a sacrifice. If they forgot to put gas in the car because they were thinking about what to make for dinner, it's a sacrifice.
For most parents, these are just decisions adults make in the course of their lives or events that come to pass. Chinese parents use any and all tactics to guilt their children and force the sense of Confucian obligation.
-signed, Chinese and I throw dagger eyes at any of my Chinese friends who talk about this crap