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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Still reading all your responses.

Re: her becoming a SAHM. I was worried at first about her giving up a pretty well paid job and having a hard time going back to that salary level.  We had a nanny for the first year and half. Neither my wife nor I loved it - she kept the baby alive and safe but that was about it, didn’t cook, do that many activities, or read (she barely could speak English). And this wasn’t a cheap nanny! After base payu, healthcare, PTO, etc it was a hefty sum. My wife was making a little over 200k at the time so yes we could afford it, but she didn’t enjoy her job and thought she could provide better care.

Now that I’ve seen the difference between how much my wife does and the nanny - who pretty much just took the baby out on walks while being on her phone, and sitting at parks - I totally support her staying a SAHM until the second is ready for preschool. Our kids are doing really well and my wife keeps a great routine, my work is rarely interrupted the way it still was with the nanny (sick, vacation, holidays…)  I just wish we could be more frugal.

Yeah, some of this is the dynamic changing now that I’m the only one working, but overall expenses are increasing.  Like I said before I don’t micromanage her nor does she me, we’re doing this exercise for the first time after the second kid and me thinking ahead to to college savings, double preschool, etc. We have joint finances so my expenses were also looked at. I don’t want to be stingy with her because I can tell what she does now is a lot harder than her previous desk job. In the course of us discussing this she did say she feels the self care categories are keeping her sane / refreshed from all the childcare.

After reading how many responses here say this isn’t too abnormal, I think I won’t make a big deal out of it.

Curious to hear from husbands of women who quit a well paid job to stay at home after kids. How did the dynamic of your financial relationship change , if at all. Did you feel more compelled to check /monitor your wife’s spending as the sole earner.

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